HAPPY HALLOWEEN! or HAPPY SAINTS DAY! or HAPPY DAY of the DEAD!
Seriously, I know Obie blogged about this a while ago... but, since it's "the day", I need to talk about it now. I think it's sad that there are more people in costumes in my corporation than there are in the schools. My VP is a mailman, how awesome is that? Someone just walked by as one of the guys in Cool Runnings. Awesome costumes, hands down. You can't argue about that....lol
Don't get me wrong, I know what it's all about, and I am not ignorant to the evil that happens on this day. Let's face it though, if people aren't serving God, they're serving him anyway. I know that the sacrifices and worship that is given to the evil one is more than just service, but I think so many times we forget how many people serve him ignorantly on a daily basis.
I read somewhere how the true meaning of "Hallow" "ween" means saints day. Although, I am not of Catholic beliefs or any that tend to put particular saints in elevated places, I think this is a good interpretation, and a good thing we should do. After all, we can all technically be "saints" and we are saints. Yet, remembering things that people have done as witnesses for Christ is encouraging to our souls, minds, and hearts. It's just like reading a book of Jesus Freaks or Foxes Book of Martyrs. These are modern day "saints" as well.
In the same token. As quirky as the "Dia de los muertos" is, God can still use it.
So, here's to Halloween, after all, every day, every single day, is a day that we are called to celebrate and worship God and be grateful for. So, whether we celebrate in costumes of Patty O'Green (like myself) or as a postman or simply as a girl that tells others about Jesus (like Taylor W.), we can celebrate in our spirit and with our friends. I hope to see everyone tonight at the Harvest Festival. :)
Tuesday, October 31
Sunday, October 29
After reading Tia's blog about the Christmas decorations out before Halloween, I got thinking... Maybe it's a good thing that Christmas stuff is out longer than Halloween stuff. After all, Christmas is usually referred to as one of "God's holidays" and people usually refer to Halloween as "satan's holiday". Now, don't get me wrong, we can go into many debates about both of them, but I am just referring to generalities.
I have also been really sick of my job. I took on a new role as a superuser that is a 21 hour/week commitment while I now have to maintain all of my normal responsibilities. I did this because it sounds interesting, and I have been really bored at my current position. I also was slightly hoping that my boss would say no so I could use it at leverage to get more pay. There's also a talk of getting a hefty bonus when the project is done. Regardless of the monetary situation, it is good to get the exposure that this will give me. Yet, the same day I started this, I found out I could be making 1.5 or 2x the amount I am if I transferred over to the department here (I work out of our FL branch). Yet, who would want me on their team for only 20 hours a week? No one. Now, I am stuck. I have asked my rep and my vp about the raise that they have promised me since JANUARY that I have not received, and what do you know?... They haven't responded. I am trying to get e-mails because phone conversations can't be given to HR. Regardless, I am trying to figure out what I should do and if I should just suck it up and deal or what I should do. I have been going crazy lately.
I know that I will be moving to Mexico, but I don't know when. I am trying to figure out ways to prepare myself financially before I do. I don't want to be stupid. Yet, I will be obedient. I am preparing myself though for having to wait, as it can be hard for me. After my lease is up at the end of January, I am going to be moving back in with my parents. It will probably take me 4 months to pay off my credit card debt and then I'll start paying off my car. I look forward to being debt free. It could be really nice, as I haven't been since I turned 18 and got my first credit card.
Lastly, I have realized that I blog about kids a lot. It has basically been Mexico, Prims, Mexico, Mexico, Prims, Kauai, Prims, Mexico... I am going to try to go a week without blogging about Mexico or Prims...lol
Well, love everyone lots, there's a little bit about what's been going on in my life.
By the way, I need to take a poll. Does everyone consider an animal (like a dog) a roommate? and... Do you think it's "cruel" to leave a dog in a crate when you're relaxing and watching tv?
I have also been really sick of my job. I took on a new role as a superuser that is a 21 hour/week commitment while I now have to maintain all of my normal responsibilities. I did this because it sounds interesting, and I have been really bored at my current position. I also was slightly hoping that my boss would say no so I could use it at leverage to get more pay. There's also a talk of getting a hefty bonus when the project is done. Regardless of the monetary situation, it is good to get the exposure that this will give me. Yet, the same day I started this, I found out I could be making 1.5 or 2x the amount I am if I transferred over to the department here (I work out of our FL branch). Yet, who would want me on their team for only 20 hours a week? No one. Now, I am stuck. I have asked my rep and my vp about the raise that they have promised me since JANUARY that I have not received, and what do you know?... They haven't responded. I am trying to get e-mails because phone conversations can't be given to HR. Regardless, I am trying to figure out what I should do and if I should just suck it up and deal or what I should do. I have been going crazy lately.
I know that I will be moving to Mexico, but I don't know when. I am trying to figure out ways to prepare myself financially before I do. I don't want to be stupid. Yet, I will be obedient. I am preparing myself though for having to wait, as it can be hard for me. After my lease is up at the end of January, I am going to be moving back in with my parents. It will probably take me 4 months to pay off my credit card debt and then I'll start paying off my car. I look forward to being debt free. It could be really nice, as I haven't been since I turned 18 and got my first credit card.
Lastly, I have realized that I blog about kids a lot. It has basically been Mexico, Prims, Mexico, Mexico, Prims, Kauai, Prims, Mexico... I am going to try to go a week without blogging about Mexico or Prims...lol
Well, love everyone lots, there's a little bit about what's been going on in my life.
By the way, I need to take a poll. Does everyone consider an animal (like a dog) a roommate? and... Do you think it's "cruel" to leave a dog in a crate when you're relaxing and watching tv?
Monday, October 23
This weekend was definitely an interesting one. To be honest, I'm still trying to process everything that happened. I definitely learned a lot about myself, and about these kids.
Kids will be kids...
Right before we were getting ready to leave, Nia looked into her purse and saw that there was $69 that was missing. Shanyce said she saw the girl with scars on her face crawl through the kitchen window earlier in the day while she was eating s sandwich. She then, pointed to Rosa Elizabeth and said it was her. I asked her if she took Nia's money, and after she denied it, I asked if she knew who did. All of the other kids around heard me question her and came over to us, and they all named one boy, Heriberto. I immediately went to Manuel to tell him about what had happened. He called the psychologist and had him come over and they and Gaby talked to the boys right then. Nia and I were forced to stay there for 3 extra hours because Manuel was talking to the boys. After he was in there, the kids named off 6 other boys that were involved (Edwin, Macario, Angel, Cristian, Jesus Guadalupe, and Cruz. After an hour of waiting, I decided I should check my purse as well and not be ignorant from the fact that they could do the same to me. What do you know? They did. I only had $10 in cash though. Yet, we didn't even have $3.50 of cash on us to pay the toll on the way home, so we were forced to wait around. After 3 hours, I told Manuel we had to go, and he told me to bring the other lady in there first. When we both went in that room together, I couldn't handle it. Josue, a 15 year-old boy that has only been there for two weeks and was not mentioned by any of the kids, came over to us and said "It was me, I took the money." Following him was 10 year-old Heriberto, and then he said, "My apologies." He also was crying. Manuel said that the rest of the boys in there were in there because they helped spend the money. Nia was given back around $65, but they ended up spending about $15. I looked over to the other boys: Edwin, Angel, Cristian, Macario. Cristian was crying. The tears did not stop flowing. We told Manuel that we know that these boys have good hearts and that they just made a bad choice but that it's okay. He reminded us that they are from the streets and that it takes time to get them back on the right path. Manuel then looked at me and said, "This is your home." "This is your home." I thanked him and then I started saying my goodbyes. I put my hands on Josue's cheeks first and then kissed his cheek and hugged him and said goodbye. I then did the same to Heriberto, then Macario, and Cristian, and Angel, and finally Edwin. I said, I love you all. I then hugged Manuel and Gaby and saw that the tears were still streaming down Cristian's face. I went back over to him and wiped away his tears and said, "It's okay. I love you. See you next month." Yes, these boys made a bad decision and they should be punished, but they also need to know they were forgiven.
While Manuel was talking to these boys, we were still cleaning up the apartment we stayed in. These kids don't care that we're cleaning, they want to be in there and still spend time with us. They like to help, even though they have chores all the time. They help in whatever way they are able to help. They helped a lot. Let's see. Cristina mopped the entire apartment and re-mopped it after some of the Americans walked through it. They helped us clean. They helped us load the car. They helped me take air out of the air matress. A bunch of the kids helped me get the dents out of my hood (after we all sat on it for a super long time). I didn't ask them for their help. In fact, I told Cristina that I got it and that I could do it, but she insisted over and over again, until I let her...and this was all in less than an hour and a half.
And then there's Rosa Elizabeth.
This 10 year old little girl saw a cloth on the ground, and brought it over to the hose and washed it off. She then came over to me (as I was sitting on the hood of my car), and proceeded to wash my legs off. She then took off my flip flops and washed my feet. Seeing how much dust and dirt was on me, she went back to the hose and washed it off again. She came back to me and rinsed off both of my arms and hands, and then washed off my face. When she first started doing it, I told her not to, but she just kept doing it, and smiled. This is the same girl that I accused of taking Nia's money just an hour earlier. Then she serves me like this? It was the weirdest thing that anyone has ever done to me, but she did it with a smile on her face the entire time. I'm not one to let people do stuff for me like that, but wow... That was crazily beautiful to witness and experience.
I go there to serve them. Yet, they serve me. I don't ask for it, I don't like them to do it. It makes me feel bad and uncomfortable.
Last night, Ben was talking about Mary and Martha and it reminded me of Cristina and Rosa Elizabeth. They joyfulness. It reminded me of the first verse that called me to work with orphans in Romania over 5 years ago. James 1:24 "Pure and undefiled religion is this: to visit orphans and widows in their time of need." The pure and undefiled part is not the mere act of visiting them, serving them, or even loving them.... it is everything that we can learn from them. This is why we are called to visit them, because it's only them that can truly teach us.
We're not just called to have just the faith of a child...There are so much more that we can learn from them.
Cristina
Rosa Elizabeth
Josue
Heriberto
Edwin
Angel
Cristian
Macario
Kids will be kids...
Right before we were getting ready to leave, Nia looked into her purse and saw that there was $69 that was missing. Shanyce said she saw the girl with scars on her face crawl through the kitchen window earlier in the day while she was eating s sandwich. She then, pointed to Rosa Elizabeth and said it was her. I asked her if she took Nia's money, and after she denied it, I asked if she knew who did. All of the other kids around heard me question her and came over to us, and they all named one boy, Heriberto. I immediately went to Manuel to tell him about what had happened. He called the psychologist and had him come over and they and Gaby talked to the boys right then. Nia and I were forced to stay there for 3 extra hours because Manuel was talking to the boys. After he was in there, the kids named off 6 other boys that were involved (Edwin, Macario, Angel, Cristian, Jesus Guadalupe, and Cruz. After an hour of waiting, I decided I should check my purse as well and not be ignorant from the fact that they could do the same to me. What do you know? They did. I only had $10 in cash though. Yet, we didn't even have $3.50 of cash on us to pay the toll on the way home, so we were forced to wait around. After 3 hours, I told Manuel we had to go, and he told me to bring the other lady in there first. When we both went in that room together, I couldn't handle it. Josue, a 15 year-old boy that has only been there for two weeks and was not mentioned by any of the kids, came over to us and said "It was me, I took the money." Following him was 10 year-old Heriberto, and then he said, "My apologies." He also was crying. Manuel said that the rest of the boys in there were in there because they helped spend the money. Nia was given back around $65, but they ended up spending about $15. I looked over to the other boys: Edwin, Angel, Cristian, Macario. Cristian was crying. The tears did not stop flowing. We told Manuel that we know that these boys have good hearts and that they just made a bad choice but that it's okay. He reminded us that they are from the streets and that it takes time to get them back on the right path. Manuel then looked at me and said, "This is your home." "This is your home." I thanked him and then I started saying my goodbyes. I put my hands on Josue's cheeks first and then kissed his cheek and hugged him and said goodbye. I then did the same to Heriberto, then Macario, and Cristian, and Angel, and finally Edwin. I said, I love you all. I then hugged Manuel and Gaby and saw that the tears were still streaming down Cristian's face. I went back over to him and wiped away his tears and said, "It's okay. I love you. See you next month." Yes, these boys made a bad decision and they should be punished, but they also need to know they were forgiven.
(Side note: This is how they learned to survive on the streets. They all think that all American's are rich, so they think we don't really need it because we have plenty more. I honestly don't think that it was out of malicious intent towards either one of us. I can't blame them for that. I also can't blame the other kids for spending money that they see in front of them when they don't get that much...They will learn, they just haven't yet. To me, it's just like teaching a kid not to spill when they pour.)All in all, these kids are amazing. At least 30 kids came up to me while they were in that meeting and said, "I'm sorry Ana". I just kept saying, "it's okay, it's okay". It spread like wildfire, and these kids were remorseful, both the ones that weren't directly involved and the ones that were.
While Manuel was talking to these boys, we were still cleaning up the apartment we stayed in. These kids don't care that we're cleaning, they want to be in there and still spend time with us. They like to help, even though they have chores all the time. They help in whatever way they are able to help. They helped a lot. Let's see. Cristina mopped the entire apartment and re-mopped it after some of the Americans walked through it. They helped us clean. They helped us load the car. They helped me take air out of the air matress. A bunch of the kids helped me get the dents out of my hood (after we all sat on it for a super long time). I didn't ask them for their help. In fact, I told Cristina that I got it and that I could do it, but she insisted over and over again, until I let her...and this was all in less than an hour and a half.
And then there's Rosa Elizabeth.
This 10 year old little girl saw a cloth on the ground, and brought it over to the hose and washed it off. She then came over to me (as I was sitting on the hood of my car), and proceeded to wash my legs off. She then took off my flip flops and washed my feet. Seeing how much dust and dirt was on me, she went back to the hose and washed it off again. She came back to me and rinsed off both of my arms and hands, and then washed off my face. When she first started doing it, I told her not to, but she just kept doing it, and smiled. This is the same girl that I accused of taking Nia's money just an hour earlier. Then she serves me like this? It was the weirdest thing that anyone has ever done to me, but she did it with a smile on her face the entire time. I'm not one to let people do stuff for me like that, but wow... That was crazily beautiful to witness and experience.
I go there to serve them. Yet, they serve me. I don't ask for it, I don't like them to do it. It makes me feel bad and uncomfortable.
Last night, Ben was talking about Mary and Martha and it reminded me of Cristina and Rosa Elizabeth. They joyfulness. It reminded me of the first verse that called me to work with orphans in Romania over 5 years ago. James 1:24 "Pure and undefiled religion is this: to visit orphans and widows in their time of need." The pure and undefiled part is not the mere act of visiting them, serving them, or even loving them.... it is everything that we can learn from them. This is why we are called to visit them, because it's only them that can truly teach us.
We're not just called to have just the faith of a child...There are so much more that we can learn from them.
Cristina
Rosa Elizabeth
Josue
Heriberto
Edwin
Angel
Cristian
Macario
Thursday, October 19
Can I complain for just a minute please? Okay, so since I have gained 6-8 pounds in the last 3 months from not going to the gym, I decided I would start to go back. I went on Friday and then again on Tuesday. Well, let's just say, I worked my butt off on Tuesday. I went to muscle failure on most muscle groups. Yesterday, I didn't think I could possibly be in any more pain than I was in... So I thought it would be better today. Nope, I was wrong. My biceps, triceps, and abs all kill. It hurt to brush my teeth. It hurts to type... They just hurt all the time, and really bad. Anywho, tonight I'm working with a trainer to see exactly where I'm at with my body fat percentage and all that, and I'm not too excited... Yet, it will be good for me to see that I can't be lazy and eat whatever I want for 3 months at a time. Anywho, just had to share that so you all know I'm miserable. :)
Okay, now onto more important stuff...
Prims last night was good. Cheyanna got sick on the way, so she didn't get to come. A lot of the girls wrote her name in their prayer journals so they would remember to pray for her. Right before snack, Cais said that her throat was hurting and that it hurt when she gulped. I had all the girls come over and lay hands on her and pray. I was going to end it after whoever wanted to prayed. To my surprise, 9 out of the 11 girls prayed (only Rebecca and Becky didn't), and after everyone said that they prayed if they wanted to, Allison ended the prayer. It was perfect. I would have prayed, but it was clear that I was only supposed to agree with them. Then about 5 minutes later, Cais came up to me and said, "It's a miracle, my throat is starting to feel better!" Praise God. Truly, we need to have the faith of a child.
Okay, now onto more important stuff...
Prims last night was good. Cheyanna got sick on the way, so she didn't get to come. A lot of the girls wrote her name in their prayer journals so they would remember to pray for her. Right before snack, Cais said that her throat was hurting and that it hurt when she gulped. I had all the girls come over and lay hands on her and pray. I was going to end it after whoever wanted to prayed. To my surprise, 9 out of the 11 girls prayed (only Rebecca and Becky didn't), and after everyone said that they prayed if they wanted to, Allison ended the prayer. It was perfect. I would have prayed, but it was clear that I was only supposed to agree with them. Then about 5 minutes later, Cais came up to me and said, "It's a miracle, my throat is starting to feel better!" Praise God. Truly, we need to have the faith of a child.
Tuesday, October 17
Last week when I was planning for Prims, I thought... I am going to take a picture of them. But instead of telling them to smile, I'm going to tell them to put the expression they think God has on His face when they pray... on theirs. It was really interesting to see the looks that they all had on their faces. Some closed their eyes and gave a smirk, others smiled really big, others made sure their hands were crossed...
Before I show the pictures (which I'm sure you looked at first), I do want to note one thing... I decided to have them lay on the ground outside in a "circle" with their heads in the middle. I love these types of pics. Yet, I obviously wasn't able to get over them perfectly, so I kind of just put the camera over them what looked the middle and took the pic... So, if your daughter is on the edge, that's why. Here's one of my favorite pics of all of them.
Before I show the pictures (which I'm sure you looked at first), I do want to note one thing... I decided to have them lay on the ground outside in a "circle" with their heads in the middle. I love these types of pics. Yet, I obviously wasn't able to get over them perfectly, so I kind of just put the camera over them what looked the middle and took the pic... So, if your daughter is on the edge, that's why. Here's one of my favorite pics of all of them.
Monday, October 16
An update on the island of Kauai since last Thursday:
Is someone that has had one prophetic work a prophet?
If prophecies are so uncommon, then why did Paul say that only 2 or 3 may be shared during a church service?
Is it possible that these are just signs of birth pains of what's to come?
Is it ever harmful to pray for anyone?
You can view an article on USA today about the effects of yesterday's earthquake here. The people on Kauai did feel the aftershocks of the earthquake, but it didn't damage anything that bad. So, please continue to pray for the people of Kauai as everything has not been completed yet.
P.S. With an earthquake of this magnitude, it is only God's grace that kept any fatalities from happening.
- 6 kids accepted the Lord at church
- 1 woman gave her life to Christ at the beach
- 1 man is on the verge of his belief
- Every person that Sol and Darren work with have been asking them questions about God since they gave them tracts.
- The entire attitude towards God has shifted, and a lot of people are a lot more receptive.
Is someone that has had one prophetic work a prophet?
If prophecies are so uncommon, then why did Paul say that only 2 or 3 may be shared during a church service?
Is it possible that these are just signs of birth pains of what's to come?
Is it ever harmful to pray for anyone?
You can view an article on USA today about the effects of yesterday's earthquake here. The people on Kauai did feel the aftershocks of the earthquake, but it didn't damage anything that bad. So, please continue to pray for the people of Kauai as everything has not been completed yet.
P.S. With an earthquake of this magnitude, it is only God's grace that kept any fatalities from happening.
Wednesday, October 11
How do I start this? You may think I'm crazy or insane, but eventually, you will know it's God. Here's part of the story (the whole thing is too long to share).
DD and I were talking in the church parking lot and we started to talk about Sol, one of her friends that lives in Kauai that she met in Africa. To be honest, I don't know what started it or how we first heard God, but everything that will soon be explained bounced back and forth between us. God would give me a part of it, then He would give her a part of it.
Here's the truth:
There is going to be a huge disaster in Kauai. God is pooring His wrath out on that island, just like He did in New Orleans and in NY. God is going to spare Sol's family and their house. He is going to use it as a refuge for 20-30 people that are all going to get saved. All of the wicked will be killed. The only wicked that will survive it will come out as Christians, and that will be the only reason why their lives are spared. It's intense. This is true, and it may even happen this weekend.
This is how God confirmed it and told us over and over:
Even when DD was in HI, God told her to take pictures because there's not always another chance. God told Sol, it's like the times of Noah, everyone is happy, getting married, having kids, continuing life up until the day of the flood.
God told us to read the proverb of the day. Here are some verses from Proverbs 10:
25 When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteious stand firm forever.
30 The righteous will never be uprooted, but the wicked will not remain in the land.
I get home, knowing that I need to blog this before I doubt it. I look to see if there's anything. Apparently, a 6' swell is going to come this weekend... according to when DD was there this past week. I try to check the news, and I go on: http://www.kauaiworld.com/. What is the title of the article that is in their advertisement? 'They are just gone'.
It's weird, because I wondered if other islands are going to be effected as well, and God said, "No, only Kauai." The other islands have wickedness, but it comes and goes. On Kauai, it stays. Afterward, Sol told DD, "This island is different, it has more spiritual warfare than the other islands. It's everywhere, and people don't even realize it."
Please pray. Just... Please pray.
DD and I were talking in the church parking lot and we started to talk about Sol, one of her friends that lives in Kauai that she met in Africa. To be honest, I don't know what started it or how we first heard God, but everything that will soon be explained bounced back and forth between us. God would give me a part of it, then He would give her a part of it.
Here's the truth:
There is going to be a huge disaster in Kauai. God is pooring His wrath out on that island, just like He did in New Orleans and in NY. God is going to spare Sol's family and their house. He is going to use it as a refuge for 20-30 people that are all going to get saved. All of the wicked will be killed. The only wicked that will survive it will come out as Christians, and that will be the only reason why their lives are spared. It's intense. This is true, and it may even happen this weekend.
This is how God confirmed it and told us over and over:
Even when DD was in HI, God told her to take pictures because there's not always another chance. God told Sol, it's like the times of Noah, everyone is happy, getting married, having kids, continuing life up until the day of the flood.
God told us to read the proverb of the day. Here are some verses from Proverbs 10:
25 When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteious stand firm forever.
30 The righteous will never be uprooted, but the wicked will not remain in the land.
I get home, knowing that I need to blog this before I doubt it. I look to see if there's anything. Apparently, a 6' swell is going to come this weekend... according to when DD was there this past week. I try to check the news, and I go on: http://www.kauaiworld.com/. What is the title of the article that is in their advertisement? 'They are just gone'.
It's weird, because I wondered if other islands are going to be effected as well, and God said, "No, only Kauai." The other islands have wickedness, but it comes and goes. On Kauai, it stays. Afterward, Sol told DD, "This island is different, it has more spiritual warfare than the other islands. It's everywhere, and people don't even realize it."
Please pray. Just... Please pray.
Grisel
Arnulfo
Carla
There's plenty more as well. Just let me know the gender, age range, and even personality, and I'll hook you up! Thanks guys.
Yesterday, between my and Tia's blogs, Oz, Tia, and I started talking about resting and the need for it... and for truly observing the Sabbath.
Here's my normal schedule:
Sunday: Church 9-1 when in town, errands, family get togethers.
Monday: Work 6-3, Amadeo 6ish-8:30, Poker 9-1
Tuesday: Work 6-3, usually dinner at sisters from 4:30-10
Wednesday: Work 6-3, 5:30-8:30 Prims
Thursday: Work 6-3, Babysit kids, usually my only night to relax... but fills up usually
Friday: Work 6-3, go out of town, watch kids, college group (if I can ever make it)
Saturday: Work, run errands, women's breakfasts
That makes my schedule seem light. Maybe because yesterday I went straight to the salon to get my hair done from work, then Jen and Susie came over right after I got home. This Thursday, I am going over to my sister's for dinner at 4:30 and then we're going to the pumpkin patch with my mom and niece. Friday I'm working out with Megan and dying her hair.
Anywho, that's all besides the point... well, kind of. See, it's hard to find time to rest. I know I need to, and I want to. But I don't want to cut anything out. I don't see my family enough as it is, and there are friends I haven't hung out with for forever because I have no time. How bad does it sound, how about we hang out in 3 Tuesday's from now? It's truly disgusting.
Yet, when I finally do get time to relax, I like to veg and watch tv so I don't have to think. I know it's not the type of rest that God wants me to have, but it's so great to be entertained and not have to put any effort or energy into it. So, here's my dilema. Do I make time to rest with the possibility of me not choosing to make it a positive godly rest and just take away time where I can be helping someone or just hanging out with a friend or do I try to do my best in making it godly one... maybe pick up one of the books that I have bought and never actually started to read... Oh how I get so sleepy when I start to read alot though! :)
I remember when Jack was talking about rest a couple of months ago and how we need that particular type of rest. Oh how I need to hear that now.
I may be involved with a lot, but I honestly don't really feel like I need rest. God continually gives me energy. He continues to give me visions and creative ideas for the different classes I teach. Somehow, everything always ends out being fine and taken care of. I know that I can say no to people, and I sometimes do, but sometimes when someone asks for me to do something or help them and that just happends to be the only time I'm free that day or week... it just seems a little to perfect to say no. It seems like just maybe God worked it out that way on purpose.
Anywho, see how I have even more dilemas with this topic? :)
So, do I really need to change? Right now, I'm on my way in the right direction. I was stagnant for way too long, and I'm finally not anymore. I'm getting closer to God everyday. I am hesitant that if I am not involved in as much or busy enough with these types of things that I'll fill myself with other stupid crap.
Honestly, I think this is another reason why I am called to Mexico. My life will consist of two things: work and those kids. It will be beautiful. I can't wait. But, I will miss everyone here.
Sorry for the jumpiness of this post... It's hard to make sense of everything.
Here's my normal schedule:
Sunday: Church 9-1 when in town, errands, family get togethers.
Monday: Work 6-3, Amadeo 6ish-8:30, Poker 9-1
Tuesday: Work 6-3, usually dinner at sisters from 4:30-10
Wednesday: Work 6-3, 5:30-8:30 Prims
Thursday: Work 6-3, Babysit kids, usually my only night to relax... but fills up usually
Friday: Work 6-3, go out of town, watch kids, college group (if I can ever make it)
Saturday: Work, run errands, women's breakfasts
That makes my schedule seem light. Maybe because yesterday I went straight to the salon to get my hair done from work, then Jen and Susie came over right after I got home. This Thursday, I am going over to my sister's for dinner at 4:30 and then we're going to the pumpkin patch with my mom and niece. Friday I'm working out with Megan and dying her hair.
Anywho, that's all besides the point... well, kind of. See, it's hard to find time to rest. I know I need to, and I want to. But I don't want to cut anything out. I don't see my family enough as it is, and there are friends I haven't hung out with for forever because I have no time. How bad does it sound, how about we hang out in 3 Tuesday's from now? It's truly disgusting.
Yet, when I finally do get time to relax, I like to veg and watch tv so I don't have to think. I know it's not the type of rest that God wants me to have, but it's so great to be entertained and not have to put any effort or energy into it. So, here's my dilema. Do I make time to rest with the possibility of me not choosing to make it a positive godly rest and just take away time where I can be helping someone or just hanging out with a friend or do I try to do my best in making it godly one... maybe pick up one of the books that I have bought and never actually started to read... Oh how I get so sleepy when I start to read alot though! :)
I remember when Jack was talking about rest a couple of months ago and how we need that particular type of rest. Oh how I need to hear that now.
I may be involved with a lot, but I honestly don't really feel like I need rest. God continually gives me energy. He continues to give me visions and creative ideas for the different classes I teach. Somehow, everything always ends out being fine and taken care of. I know that I can say no to people, and I sometimes do, but sometimes when someone asks for me to do something or help them and that just happends to be the only time I'm free that day or week... it just seems a little to perfect to say no. It seems like just maybe God worked it out that way on purpose.
Anywho, see how I have even more dilemas with this topic? :)
So, do I really need to change? Right now, I'm on my way in the right direction. I was stagnant for way too long, and I'm finally not anymore. I'm getting closer to God everyday. I am hesitant that if I am not involved in as much or busy enough with these types of things that I'll fill myself with other stupid crap.
Honestly, I think this is another reason why I am called to Mexico. My life will consist of two things: work and those kids. It will be beautiful. I can't wait. But, I will miss everyone here.
Sorry for the jumpiness of this post... It's hard to make sense of everything.
Tuesday, October 10
God hears our heart's cry.
Once again, my wonderful work spends marketing money on ridiculous things. If it's not arches of balloons that we're forced to walk through or inflatable football helmets or basketball hoops for us to throw passes into or for us to make baskets... then it's obnoxious things or people, like cheerleaders.
Today, oh what could it be?
Oh, a marching band. That's right. My work has a marching band outside right now playing all sorts of songs. There has to be about 30 of them. They are so loud. I left to go to the airport to pick up DD and they were there. Who wants to hear that at 7:30 in the morning? Not me. Nor do I want to see their flagline. Seriously, who wants to see people dance with flags? Okay, maybe I even prefer them because they don't hurt my sensitive morning ears... but still. It just adds to the insanity. Is this supposed to make people like to work here better? Is it supposed to make us work harder and be enthusiastic to sell? Maybe... but it doesn't work.
So, back to my point.
Before DD got out of the car, I told her about the insanity of this situation, and she could sense my irritation. She said, "I'll totally pray for you and that they'll be gone when you get back to work." I pull up in the parking lot, look over to our entrance, and I don't see anyone. More importantly, I don't hear anything! Wahoo! God answered my heart's cry. Where were they? They were taking their breakfast break. Once again, Wahoo! Praise you Lord!
PS. I have been warned by my nice teammates not go outside because they have carnival attractions. Oh, and top of that. I found out that there is a juggler on a unicycle in our building. That's right... He's in one of the main rooms just doing his thing. Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.
Once again, my wonderful work spends marketing money on ridiculous things. If it's not arches of balloons that we're forced to walk through or inflatable football helmets or basketball hoops for us to throw passes into or for us to make baskets... then it's obnoxious things or people, like cheerleaders.
Today, oh what could it be?
Oh, a marching band. That's right. My work has a marching band outside right now playing all sorts of songs. There has to be about 30 of them. They are so loud. I left to go to the airport to pick up DD and they were there. Who wants to hear that at 7:30 in the morning? Not me. Nor do I want to see their flagline. Seriously, who wants to see people dance with flags? Okay, maybe I even prefer them because they don't hurt my sensitive morning ears... but still. It just adds to the insanity. Is this supposed to make people like to work here better? Is it supposed to make us work harder and be enthusiastic to sell? Maybe... but it doesn't work.
So, back to my point.
Before DD got out of the car, I told her about the insanity of this situation, and she could sense my irritation. She said, "I'll totally pray for you and that they'll be gone when you get back to work." I pull up in the parking lot, look over to our entrance, and I don't see anyone. More importantly, I don't hear anything! Wahoo! God answered my heart's cry. Where were they? They were taking their breakfast break. Once again, Wahoo! Praise you Lord!
PS. I have been warned by my nice teammates not go outside because they have carnival attractions. Oh, and top of that. I found out that there is a juggler on a unicycle in our building. That's right... He's in one of the main rooms just doing his thing. Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.
Sunday, October 8
Randomness..... (trying to keep it short, which is obviously hard for me)
Last month, I missed my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary trip to my aunt & uncle's cabin b/c I went to Mandy's baby shower and watched the twins. (I made Amy choose that date).
Last night, I missed my aunt's 50th birthday party because... I watched the twins. (I made arrangements with their dad about 2 months ago and I found out about my aunt's party last week).
My family gets upset and feels like they are my last priority.
I consider everyone family. You are either part of my blood family or spiritual family, but it's family none the less.
I wonder... am I wrong for missing these events? Should I cancel previous commitments with other people I love because these events are for "blood relatives"?
My aunt actually asked my mom, "Is Hannah coming? I didn't give her a 3 month notice, so I'm sure she won't be able to make it."
Sadly, she's right.... I have 2 of the 3 weekends left in October planned, I have every Saturday planned in November, and 3 of the 5 weekends in December planned.
I have a busy life, but I love everything I do.
I have been working with the twins for 4 1/2 years. They are now 9 years old, both girls. Al has been saying my name the past few weeks, and it's the first time that she's said it consistently. Before now, she's only said it 2 other times. Today, she actually grabbed my leg and said my name 3 times. It's so amazing to see a child change that much over time. For her vocabulary to continually grow....from 2 words to over a hundred. Oh, and because I've been with them most Saturdays lately, she woke up yesterday asking for me. It's amazing. It's so cute. Please keep in mind, she's been in the severely mentally delayed special education classes since she was less than 3 years old.
Oh, and one more thing. Today, I met a 7 yr. old boy at church that has been getting pushed and punched by bullies. His response? Nothing. He just took it. I asked him if he has ever told his teachers or his parents. Nope. He said he was going to deal with it himself and just take it. I obviously told his mom afterwards who is new to our church, and she was shocked. And heartbroken. I felt the same way that I felt when I heard about Noah when he was in 1st grade. Why? How can kids be so mean to these precious boys? Hearing it come from him was heart-wrenching. I would have thought that this kid would have been a bully, not a victim. It's so sad. Yet, there's something so beautiful for a kid to actually talk about it and share his honest opinion and reasonings for his choices.
Last month, I missed my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary trip to my aunt & uncle's cabin b/c I went to Mandy's baby shower and watched the twins. (I made Amy choose that date).
Last night, I missed my aunt's 50th birthday party because... I watched the twins. (I made arrangements with their dad about 2 months ago and I found out about my aunt's party last week).
My family gets upset and feels like they are my last priority.
I consider everyone family. You are either part of my blood family or spiritual family, but it's family none the less.
I wonder... am I wrong for missing these events? Should I cancel previous commitments with other people I love because these events are for "blood relatives"?
My aunt actually asked my mom, "Is Hannah coming? I didn't give her a 3 month notice, so I'm sure she won't be able to make it."
Sadly, she's right.... I have 2 of the 3 weekends left in October planned, I have every Saturday planned in November, and 3 of the 5 weekends in December planned.
I have a busy life, but I love everything I do.
I have been working with the twins for 4 1/2 years. They are now 9 years old, both girls. Al has been saying my name the past few weeks, and it's the first time that she's said it consistently. Before now, she's only said it 2 other times. Today, she actually grabbed my leg and said my name 3 times. It's so amazing to see a child change that much over time. For her vocabulary to continually grow....from 2 words to over a hundred. Oh, and because I've been with them most Saturdays lately, she woke up yesterday asking for me. It's amazing. It's so cute. Please keep in mind, she's been in the severely mentally delayed special education classes since she was less than 3 years old.
Oh, and one more thing. Today, I met a 7 yr. old boy at church that has been getting pushed and punched by bullies. His response? Nothing. He just took it. I asked him if he has ever told his teachers or his parents. Nope. He said he was going to deal with it himself and just take it. I obviously told his mom afterwards who is new to our church, and she was shocked. And heartbroken. I felt the same way that I felt when I heard about Noah when he was in 1st grade. Why? How can kids be so mean to these precious boys? Hearing it come from him was heart-wrenching. I would have thought that this kid would have been a bully, not a victim. It's so sad. Yet, there's something so beautiful for a kid to actually talk about it and share his honest opinion and reasonings for his choices.
Thursday, October 5
cat·ty1 (kt) Pronunciation Key adj. cat·ti·er, cat·ti·est
Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful: a catty remark.
Catlike; stealthy.
Why are girls so catty? Seriously. No matter who they are, as long as they are a female in gender, they are either catty or have been in the past. Honestly, I don't know if I know a single girl that is not catty at all. It all comes out at sometime or another. It's stupid really. What the funniest part is that about 90% of girls will say "Ugh, I can't stand girls because they are so catty, that is why I have more guy friends, because I'm just not good at being friends with girls". Yet, who do they tell that to? Girls. It's pretty amusing.
By this point, you may wonder... Uh oh, who did she get in a fight with this time? Susie? Jessica? Not Mandy or Amy? Not DD... Who?
No one. I love all my girls very much. So, what reminded me of this cattiness that appears to be built into female genetics?
Prims. Yep, that's right, the 1st and 2nd grade girls that are in the Prims class that I teach on Wednesday nights. See, last night, 1 girl threw 2 pieces of brownies at a fellow Prim. The victim then told me that 2 girls threw the brownies at her. I asked the 2 girls if they did it, and they denied it. A fellow witness then confirmed the action. I then took girl #1 into the hall and asked her what happened, she said "Girl #2 told me to do it. I didn't know it was wrong, and I just did what she said." Basically, it's not my fault, I didn't know better. Then, I get Girl #2 and ask her what happened. She said, "Girl #1 threw the first piece of brownie, then I just tore off another peice and she threw that one too. We were just trying to share because I had an extra piece." I then get Girl #1 to come back so I can then talk to Girl #1 and Girl #2 together. I then find out that Girl #2 told the truth, but the were both in the wrong. They then apologized to the victim and all is well... Hopefully. Oh, and they both told me that they totally liked the victim, and that it wasn't out of malicious intent that they did this.
I try to make all the Prims friends with each other. I give assigned seats some weeks and I try to mix things up whenever possible. Yet, these are still girls. Unperfect girls. Does it make them bad or unloveable? Heck no! I love each of these girls very much, and sometimes they are just classy entertainment and they help me realize how I can be at times.... even when I try to deny it.
Disclaimer: Names were not used in this story so that parents would not be hurt if they were to find it. HOWEVER... It was definitely not anyone's kids that has read my blog before. AKA... The Clardy and Cloud girls were perfect as always last night... The Hoover girl would have been as well, if she was in town. MISS YOU HOOVERS!
Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful: a catty remark.
Catlike; stealthy.
Why are girls so catty? Seriously. No matter who they are, as long as they are a female in gender, they are either catty or have been in the past. Honestly, I don't know if I know a single girl that is not catty at all. It all comes out at sometime or another. It's stupid really. What the funniest part is that about 90% of girls will say "Ugh, I can't stand girls because they are so catty, that is why I have more guy friends, because I'm just not good at being friends with girls". Yet, who do they tell that to? Girls. It's pretty amusing.
By this point, you may wonder... Uh oh, who did she get in a fight with this time? Susie? Jessica? Not Mandy or Amy? Not DD... Who?
No one. I love all my girls very much. So, what reminded me of this cattiness that appears to be built into female genetics?
Prims. Yep, that's right, the 1st and 2nd grade girls that are in the Prims class that I teach on Wednesday nights. See, last night, 1 girl threw 2 pieces of brownies at a fellow Prim. The victim then told me that 2 girls threw the brownies at her. I asked the 2 girls if they did it, and they denied it. A fellow witness then confirmed the action. I then took girl #1 into the hall and asked her what happened, she said "Girl #2 told me to do it. I didn't know it was wrong, and I just did what she said." Basically, it's not my fault, I didn't know better. Then, I get Girl #2 and ask her what happened. She said, "Girl #1 threw the first piece of brownie, then I just tore off another peice and she threw that one too. We were just trying to share because I had an extra piece." I then get Girl #1 to come back so I can then talk to Girl #1 and Girl #2 together. I then find out that Girl #2 told the truth, but the were both in the wrong. They then apologized to the victim and all is well... Hopefully. Oh, and they both told me that they totally liked the victim, and that it wasn't out of malicious intent that they did this.
I try to make all the Prims friends with each other. I give assigned seats some weeks and I try to mix things up whenever possible. Yet, these are still girls. Unperfect girls. Does it make them bad or unloveable? Heck no! I love each of these girls very much, and sometimes they are just classy entertainment and they help me realize how I can be at times.... even when I try to deny it.
Disclaimer: Names were not used in this story so that parents would not be hurt if they were to find it. HOWEVER... It was definitely not anyone's kids that has read my blog before. AKA... The Clardy and Cloud girls were perfect as always last night... The Hoover girl would have been as well, if she was in town. MISS YOU HOOVERS!
Wednesday, October 4
Last night I went to seven:ten for the first time at EVBC. The talk was about suffering and the cross. It made me actually wonder:
How could Jesus ever not wonder why me? Why am I the part of God that has to do this?
Then, God just started to show me how every part of God, our triune God, suffered during this time.
Holy Spirit:
He wasn't able to comfort people up until Jesus was baptized
He couldn't comfort Jesus when he was on the cross
He couldn't explain when His people were in confusion and He had the anwers
Father:
He wasn't able to take His Son into His arms or keep Him from pain
He wasn't able to provide another way or pay for it Himself
Jesus:
He never did wonder why or why Me?
He accepted HIs suffering
He had to move away from His family and from Himself
All parts of God had to suffer like the widow that fed Elijah. They had to suffer before they could receive. The Spirit waited and had Self-control to be able to be with Jesus and the people at the time. The Father watched his Son sufferbefore taking Him into His ams and putting Him next to Him on the throne. He watched people mourn and didn't spoil the amazing outcome. Jesus went through the torture and sufferings of the cross so we could be His siblings. So we could be His reward.
How could Jesus ever not wonder why me? Why am I the part of God that has to do this?
Then, God just started to show me how every part of God, our triune God, suffered during this time.
Holy Spirit:
He wasn't able to comfort people up until Jesus was baptized
He couldn't comfort Jesus when he was on the cross
He couldn't explain when His people were in confusion and He had the anwers
Father:
He wasn't able to take His Son into His arms or keep Him from pain
He wasn't able to provide another way or pay for it Himself
Jesus:
He never did wonder why or why Me?
He accepted HIs suffering
He had to move away from His family and from Himself
All parts of God had to suffer like the widow that fed Elijah. They had to suffer before they could receive. The Spirit waited and had Self-control to be able to be with Jesus and the people at the time. The Father watched his Son sufferbefore taking Him into His ams and putting Him next to Him on the throne. He watched people mourn and didn't spoil the amazing outcome. Jesus went through the torture and sufferings of the cross so we could be His siblings. So we could be His reward.
Tuesday, October 3
Why is it that some days just start bad and stay bad for a good long while.... Yesterday was one of those days. It started with remembering at 5:25 a.m. that I had a conference call at 5:30 a.m. Yep, that's the beauty of being based on the east coast. It lasted for about an hour and fifteen minutes and it mostly consisted of my VP talking about how we need to be more like a hockey team but kind of like a basketball team as well.... It wasn't a good call because our branch did not hit our needed revenue sales to reach our budget, but no actions are being taken...yet.
My day continues on to where I begin to go through everyone's blogs and see how they are doing. I come across one friend's blog where it was pretty obvious he was having a super hard time. I pray for him, but I can feel the heaviness of the attacks that he is facing because I can relate and how real he was able to portray it.
I get to work. I find out that things were miscommunicated on Friday, so I ended out causing 2 of my teammates extra work. I hate that.
I then get the e-mail about the orphanage. I am in shock... I can't believe the fact that God allowed him to stay there that long. I am pissed off and I can't handle the fact that I am not going to see those kids for another 2 1/2 weeks. I want to go today, this weekend.... but I can't. Knowing I have to obedient, express patience, self control and the liking does not help when I know that they may have been harmed and that I am unsure if the owner of the orphanage knows the seriousness of this stipulation. I couldn't get ahold of anyone (except DD who I was already on the phone with), and all I wanted was for people to know and pray... but I battled with telling the prayer group and blogging about it because I don't want to solicite the situation and make it worse in anyway. I didn't want me blogging about it to prevent from these bastards getting caught.
Finally, my day continues. Again, at work, in the afternoon, up walks a guy from my past. He's not one very many people have heard about, because I am so ashamed. I talk to him for a few minutes, he introduced me to his new colleague, asks me what I was doing last night.... and my flesh inside me was so weak that I could only think about how attractive and amazingly hot I think he is. Yet, somehow... I tell him my plans and turn him down. He walked away, and then I tell my one friend at work that can truly hold me accountable. He knows that I am called to singleness, but he joked and told me that I should test my strength with going out with this guy... No, I know my weaknesses, and he is one of them. I won't make that same mistake again, especially now that I know the life that God has called me to.
Church was actually great... no complaints there.
Poker... besides getting out early, it gets to be the same routine. The same people. The same comments. The same questions. One guy asks me everytime we have a conversation if I have a boyfriend yet. He hasn't asked me for a few months, but I try to tell him that I just don't need one and that I don't have time for one... everything except the bold truth. I am afraid he wouldn't understand it and think that I am a freak. How do I share it with people like that? So, he continues to ask me to dinner every 5-10 minutes we're at the table. Now, this one is just kind of entertaining, I couldn't get mad at this guy, because he's half-way joking and just having fun... but even still... after seeing the guy from my past earlier in the day, it was just icing on the cake.
Today is now a good day. A new day. I know that God loves the kids more than I do and that He has protected them, and He will continue to. My friend is doing much better and has received much prayer and needed info. Sometimes, it is the other stuff, that doesn't really matter... and I wonder.... Are times that we truly worry about stuff because we're trying to be God and not handing it over to Him?
My day continues on to where I begin to go through everyone's blogs and see how they are doing. I come across one friend's blog where it was pretty obvious he was having a super hard time. I pray for him, but I can feel the heaviness of the attacks that he is facing because I can relate and how real he was able to portray it.
I get to work. I find out that things were miscommunicated on Friday, so I ended out causing 2 of my teammates extra work. I hate that.
I then get the e-mail about the orphanage. I am in shock... I can't believe the fact that God allowed him to stay there that long. I am pissed off and I can't handle the fact that I am not going to see those kids for another 2 1/2 weeks. I want to go today, this weekend.... but I can't. Knowing I have to obedient, express patience, self control and the liking does not help when I know that they may have been harmed and that I am unsure if the owner of the orphanage knows the seriousness of this stipulation. I couldn't get ahold of anyone (except DD who I was already on the phone with), and all I wanted was for people to know and pray... but I battled with telling the prayer group and blogging about it because I don't want to solicite the situation and make it worse in anyway. I didn't want me blogging about it to prevent from these bastards getting caught.
Finally, my day continues. Again, at work, in the afternoon, up walks a guy from my past. He's not one very many people have heard about, because I am so ashamed. I talk to him for a few minutes, he introduced me to his new colleague, asks me what I was doing last night.... and my flesh inside me was so weak that I could only think about how attractive and amazingly hot I think he is. Yet, somehow... I tell him my plans and turn him down. He walked away, and then I tell my one friend at work that can truly hold me accountable. He knows that I am called to singleness, but he joked and told me that I should test my strength with going out with this guy... No, I know my weaknesses, and he is one of them. I won't make that same mistake again, especially now that I know the life that God has called me to.
Church was actually great... no complaints there.
Poker... besides getting out early, it gets to be the same routine. The same people. The same comments. The same questions. One guy asks me everytime we have a conversation if I have a boyfriend yet. He hasn't asked me for a few months, but I try to tell him that I just don't need one and that I don't have time for one... everything except the bold truth. I am afraid he wouldn't understand it and think that I am a freak. How do I share it with people like that? So, he continues to ask me to dinner every 5-10 minutes we're at the table. Now, this one is just kind of entertaining, I couldn't get mad at this guy, because he's half-way joking and just having fun... but even still... after seeing the guy from my past earlier in the day, it was just icing on the cake.
Today is now a good day. A new day. I know that God loves the kids more than I do and that He has protected them, and He will continue to. My friend is doing much better and has received much prayer and needed info. Sometimes, it is the other stuff, that doesn't really matter... and I wonder.... Are times that we truly worry about stuff because we're trying to be God and not handing it over to Him?
Monday, October 2
Please pray.
A man that has been living at the orphanage we visit is a registered sex offender with a "High" risk rating. His brother used to live at the orphanage 3 years ago and is an "Intermediate" risk rating.
Please pray for the protection of these children. Please pray that God would heal any that have been affected by them in any way. Please pray for Manuel and Gaby ~ that God would give them wisdom in how to handle the situation. Please pray that both of them will be brought into custody of the American or Mexican governments.
A man that has been living at the orphanage we visit is a registered sex offender with a "High" risk rating. His brother used to live at the orphanage 3 years ago and is an "Intermediate" risk rating.
Please pray for the protection of these children. Please pray that God would heal any that have been affected by them in any way. Please pray for Manuel and Gaby ~ that God would give them wisdom in how to handle the situation. Please pray that both of them will be brought into custody of the American or Mexican governments.
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