Yesterday, between my and Tia's blogs, Oz, Tia, and I started talking about resting and the need for it... and for truly observing the Sabbath.

Here's my normal schedule:
Sunday: Church 9-1 when in town, errands, family get togethers.
Monday: Work 6-3, Amadeo 6ish-8:30, Poker 9-1
Tuesday: Work 6-3, usually dinner at sisters from 4:30-10
Wednesday: Work 6-3, 5:30-8:30 Prims
Thursday: Work 6-3, Babysit kids, usually my only night to relax... but fills up usually
Friday: Work 6-3, go out of town, watch kids, college group (if I can ever make it)
Saturday: Work, run errands, women's breakfasts

That makes my schedule seem light. Maybe because yesterday I went straight to the salon to get my hair done from work, then Jen and Susie came over right after I got home. This Thursday, I am going over to my sister's for dinner at 4:30 and then we're going to the pumpkin patch with my mom and niece. Friday I'm working out with Megan and dying her hair.

Anywho, that's all besides the point... well, kind of. See, it's hard to find time to rest. I know I need to, and I want to. But I don't want to cut anything out. I don't see my family enough as it is, and there are friends I haven't hung out with for forever because I have no time. How bad does it sound, how about we hang out in 3 Tuesday's from now? It's truly disgusting.

Yet, when I finally do get time to relax, I like to veg and watch tv so I don't have to think. I know it's not the type of rest that God wants me to have, but it's so great to be entertained and not have to put any effort or energy into it. So, here's my dilema. Do I make time to rest with the possibility of me not choosing to make it a positive godly rest and just take away time where I can be helping someone or just hanging out with a friend or do I try to do my best in making it godly one... maybe pick up one of the books that I have bought and never actually started to read... Oh how I get so sleepy when I start to read alot though! :)

I remember when Jack was talking about rest a couple of months ago and how we need that particular type of rest. Oh how I need to hear that now.

I may be involved with a lot, but I honestly don't really feel like I need rest. God continually gives me energy. He continues to give me visions and creative ideas for the different classes I teach. Somehow, everything always ends out being fine and taken care of. I know that I can say no to people, and I sometimes do, but sometimes when someone asks for me to do something or help them and that just happends to be the only time I'm free that day or week... it just seems a little to perfect to say no. It seems like just maybe God worked it out that way on purpose.

Anywho, see how I have even more dilemas with this topic? :)

So, do I really need to change? Right now, I'm on my way in the right direction. I was stagnant for way too long, and I'm finally not anymore. I'm getting closer to God everyday. I am hesitant that if I am not involved in as much or busy enough with these types of things that I'll fill myself with other stupid crap.

Honestly, I think this is another reason why I am called to Mexico. My life will consist of two things: work and those kids. It will be beautiful. I can't wait. But, I will miss everyone here.

Sorry for the jumpiness of this post... It's hard to make sense of everything.