I'm sure some people think that I'm extra lonely just because I can't go to the orphanage everyday. Others (or some of the same) probably think I'm hiding out here, not wanting to accept the reality of life, and that I'm trying to be stubborn so I can have my own way.

Well, here's the truth.

Almost everyday, I take the girls to Grimac. Sometimes, they stay in the car so they can spend some one-on-one time with me and tell me about their problems. When I'm teaching, the students always talk to me during the breaks. Just the other day, one girl came into the other classroom just to bring me into theirs. After school, I often give the kids rides home - including ones that don't live at the orphanage and live 2-3 miles away.

I have also started teaching English to a couple of the other teachers at my high school. It's good to talk about our problem students and chat with them a bit.

I frequent the Internet Cafe like it's going out of style. It's owned and worked by the same people who have a laundromat next door, so when they are in the laundromat, people always ask me for help, how to print, and whether or not there are pencils for sale. During the off time, I talk with Moncoyo (?) about life and even about our faith. Even though he's not a "Christian" or "Catholic", I appreciate his honesty of where he's at and especially how he says "Thanks be to God" after every time he says he's doing good. Besides getting hit on by him (almost every time I frequent), he's a good (adult) friend. I also like going so I can keep up with everyone else at home. (If you get a short e-mail - it's cuz he won't shut up and it's too hard to read in English while I'm listening and talking in Spanish.)

In the beginning, I came here for the orphanage. During my time here, I realized there's a lot of other people that are needy too. The kids in town asked how often I would return to visit when I wanted to run away from my problems and go to AZ immediately after the decision was made. But, after fluke circumstances, I stayed. I have been able to saturate myself in the word of God, saturate Jesus in prayer, and allow myself to be re-taught the realities of life and how I need to be. Now, part of this is credited to good authors like Donald Miller (Blue Like Jazz), John and Stasi Elderedge (Captivating) and now Jim Palmer (Divine Nobodies). Yet, it's more been by God Himself.

God is good and He is working in my life. I'm still making mistakes but I will learn the lessons - eventually. Yes, I am stubborn, but I want to make sure that I am not running from my problems, but that I am facing them head on - allowing myself to be punished and have a retreat with God that I so desperately needed. Then, if and when God tells me to return, I will go. But, for right now, I will just try to love on the people and animals (see how I've changed) that He has in my life here and now.