Who is harder on us? God or ourselves?

At work, I don't think that there is a single Christian around me - well maybe one or two - the two new guys that started about a month ago. Yet, it is so amazing to hear the words that come out of the mouths of my other teammates. To call God a she and for someone to say they are not worried about heaven but they just want to make their customer's happy. . . other people celebrate how long they haven't gone to church. . . there are two mormon's on my team. . . . and others just love their sinful lives, they might not be happy, but they sure do love all of their sins.
Once I began to see how lost everyone around me is, I wanted to try to make more of an effort to be available for God to use me there. If by some way I could be a light to the people around me, I want it to be done. I want to shine. Yet, there are so many times that I get stressed out. . . . especially lately. I felt like I was yelling at people on the phone (HP, Qlogic). I would also say things about other people that are so not edifying. Yet, Friday one of the people I work with told me that she could tell when I get stressed out by the way that I sit. She also told me that she has never heard me be mean to anyone. Yes I have. . . to her even. How could she forget the way that I was rude to her just the week before. How could she overlook all of the times I would demand service from a manufacturer or another reseller? Maybe I'm not yelling, but I'm just being assertive. Whatever, they are pretty much the same to me. Yet, was she telling me in her own subtle way that I may still be used as a light. . . can people really overlook my flaws and still see Jesus in me? I know Jesus forgives me for my sins, but I still feel like a failure as a light. . . Yet, maybe God was trying to show me that I can still be used. . . that He can go past all of my weaknesses and still use me in my job. Praise You Lord for that.

I know that my job has been used by God to teach me a few things. When I first started working with special needs children, I did not want to do it because I didn't have the patience for it. Then God told me, "And I can't give you patience?". Not that I am the most patient person in the world, but I must say that God has followed through with His word. When it comes to kids, I can be pretty patient - it doesn't matter the rate at which they develop. They are kids, and I can understand why they do some of the things they do that can try us. Yet, with adults, I have a lot less patience. I think because I expect more out of them. One day, I think after I got off the phone with Austin from Bubbles Car Wash, (I hope he's not a blogger). . .God told me, "I have given you patience with kids, now you need to trust Me to give you patience with adults." Is there a better place for that then customer service? I think not. The past week has been evident that God has been working that in me. . . I have been a lot less stressed out and nicer to people.
Another funny thing is ever since I have bought things on my own, I have never been one to return anything. I don't know why, maybe because I felt bad about returning it or maybe I thought the people would get mad at me for it. . . Kind of funny that I work in the returns department and allow people to return things everyday. It was when I was shopping for my new bedroom that I started to realize what God was doing. I had bought a sheet set at Walmart and some pillowcases. It wasn't until I was making my bed when I realized that the sheet set came with pillow cases. I didn't need any extra, and so I should return the extra pillowcases, right? I didn't even have to think about it, I just did it. I returned them. Then, it was after I left with my money that I realized that God is doing yet another work in me. He has given me more confidence and shown me that He can use all aspects of my job to help me grow spiritually. He can also use me with the people around me. It's amazing how God works!