All my life I have been trying to please my dad. God has continually told me, "Please Me and you will be pleasing your dad." So then I continue to try to press on to be obedient to the Lord and follow Jesus daily. As I grow and notice the truths in His word and the wickedness of the world around me, I get more and more convictions that I need to follow in my life and obey. Yet, then I become a person that my dad doesn't want me to be. He wants me to do nothing but get a degree and get married. He doesn't want to wait for the right timing. He doesn't want me to serve God.
He misunderstands so many points in the scriptures and then gets angry with me because I try to follow them out. He is the only person that doesn't want me to go to Africa because I need to go to school. He is upset with the way I am turning out. Yet, since his expectations of Sarah are lower, I would say that he is equally pleased with both of us. I'm not saying I am perfect or he should even be proud of me. He has asked, "Can't there be something in the middle?" Why does he want idle daughters that want only what the world around us tells us to? Why doesn't he want me to serve the Lord by working with children in Africa? The Lord has been so faithful to me and yet he doesn't even notice. Yet, I can't have the hope of pleasing my dad, I just need to be obedient to God.
Many times my relationship with my father is the hardest struggle in my life. I want to obey him and respect him as I am told to do in Galatians and Colossians and throughout the Bible, yet he doesn't even respect the fact that I am attempting to follow Jesus daily and to go where He is leading me. My dad may never be supportive or see the views that I hold, but I know that they are of the Lord and Jesus is there helping me and guiding me. Once again, Jesus tells me, "I love you, you are in My will. Don't wonder what he wants, only do what I want. Never feel bad for doing what I desire."