I had a great convo tonight with my bf that lives in CO. We were talking about a lot of things including our prayer lives and things like that. While we were talking, she brought up about how Mary pondered after Michael left. (Luke 2:19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.)

This got me thinking. Sometimes, I do more pondering than praying. Then, I realized why. There are times that the things I need to pray for are things that I have some fear or uncomfortableness about - and so, with that, I ponder instead of pray, out of fear what God will say when I pray, seek, and ask. Some of you might understand this, but for those of you that don't, I'll try to explain it a little bit further. I guess, it is just that it's easier to ponder in situations when a certain outcome is more desired than simply putting it in God's hands. In some cases, it's a fear of Him blessing us and giving us our heart's true desires, and in other cases, it's easier to ponder how to handle different situations or how to figure things out.

I love talking to my friend because we always end out coming to these realizations about our walks that we just didn't see or recognize before hand. Yet, in the end, it opens our eyes so that we are able to change our bad behaviours and focus harder and more steadfast and doing what is right.

Oh, but one last thing - I do think there is a healthy way to ponder, and I do think that when we ponder, it's probably when our spirit is interceding for us - kind of how God can understand our groanings and moanings as prayers. :)

I really hope that all of this makes sense... Here's to putting more things in God's hands, and praying in a way that we will accept God's will for our lives, no matter if it's what we think we want or not!