I sit in reflection of something that I have been processing and thinking about for over a week now.

I was at lunch with a friend when I asked her if she gave my IM address to a girl at work. She said, "yeah" and then commented that that the other girl said "well that's a contradiction if I've ever heard one." The contradiction? Oh, that would be my hotmail address being "committedtogod". My friend thankfully responded with, "well, that's just because you don't know her that well yet."

While I was thankful for my friends defense of myself being devoted to God, why should someone have to get to know me well enough to know that? This girl doesn't know me very well, she has been a person that has been kind of hard to get to know in the past.

I immediately started to go through all of our interactions (which really haven't been that many - Montreal was the main time we get to know each other). I think about how I complain about certain people at work and how I don't have patience for people that don't have functioning brains. How I comment on how they are able to get or maintain jobs. I think about how I maybe said 7 cuss words throughout the week. I think about how I drank a glass of wine or beer at dinner all but one night while I was there. I think about how she knew that I went out with everyone else. Yeah, we told her stories... but none of the good ones were about me. I wonder.... Is it for these reasons?

I contemplated IMing her to find out and then maybe start a conversation about it. Yet, what do I say? Yes, I do believe in God. He is the source of all my joy and love. Without Him, I can't have anything good. Do I tell her about how I serve Him? Do I tell her about the ministries I help out with? I ended out choosing no - or at least at this time. I don't want my faith in God to be proven by my works or words... I want to show her with my life.

Yesterday at church, while Ben was teaching, I was thinking about this situation. Yes, I have freedom to have a glass of wine with dinner. No, it's not really a bad thing to have one. Yet, if this debilitates someone from realizing I am a Christian, is it worth it? Should I give in to their lawful abiding views? Should I only drink around people that know my convictions and opinions about it. Or maybe it's not even that... maybe it's the lack of patience and genuine kindness in me. Or maybe it's that I don't shine like a star in the universe admist this crooked and depraved generation because I do complain... and argue. Hmmm.... I think I will really try to live out Philippians 2:14-15 more... I have to try. My light is dimmer because I don't.

There's just a couple more things that I want to mention from last weekend's trip.... There was a family that came that was thinking about leaving their two kids. It was very interesting to be there when people were having a tour with this in mind. They left with their kids, but who knows if they will be back.

People that come always ask who's adoptable and not. I have gotten used to having the conversation with people with the kids around. What I forgot on this last time was to look for the English fluent ones... I had an entire conversation with one of them behind me. She's been in the process of being adopted for a few months now, but it's still hard for her. I like to be sensitive about it, because for one, I love these kids, and two, I would never want to cause them anymore hurt.

I have officially decided that I like childhoold Mexican games far more than I do American. Instead of freeze tag, they play "Sol" and "Hielo" which is Sun and Ice. You have teams and you have to say your teams name when you tag someone to freeze and unfreeze them. They have this other game where you stand in two lines like Red Rover. One person goes up and down each line and assigns a number. You have to find your matching number and the last pair to find each other is out.

Seriously, look at these kids... Look at how beautiful they are...

These are the 2 new girls and the boy lives there with his mom. All of these kids love each other. They are a family, and they are my family. I share, they are also Patty, Jared, and Jessica's family too. Maddison will be on the level with them soon, I just don't think she's quite there yet. :)

This is all because Kent tagged me... Here's how it works:

Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about him/herself. * People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.* Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1) When I was in 3rd grade, I wore mismatched jellies to school because I couldn't see in the dark. My friends got mad at me because I "bragged" about going to Rocky Point for a vacation. I lost a lot of friends that year and I blamed it all on mismatched shoes and going on a vacation.

2) When I was in 6th grade, I created a new goal for myself - to become popular. I all of a sudden started to follow the popular girls around in hopes that they would start to include me. After only a couple of minutes on day one, one of them turned to me and said, "Hannah, why are you following us." I just went off and found my old friends. I gave up instantly with them.

3) In high school (after I started buying my own clothes), I started to keep track of when I wore what. I tried not to repeat within 2 weeks. I still do this today for work. I still have the book that Susie gave me for my 25th birthday, but it is for 3 weeks now. I can't do that now because I don't have enough clothes - and because I spend too much money on other things. I do my best though.

4) As my friend pointed out to me a couple of months ago... I stop going to the gym and start eating bad when I know a guy likes me or I get hit on a lot. I've been bad for a couple of months ago. My work is vicious in that way.

5) I secretly watch the Bachelor and I can't wait for the season finale to be on in 30 minutes. I am torn because I saw in the preview from last week that the girl I have been rooting for the entire season is a weird religion... It's that one that starts with a "B" to wear everyone was a prophet for their time - including Jesus, Buddha, and Joseph Smith.

6) I wore diapers to bed at night occasionally until I was 12 years old. Because of the phenobarbital (that I took for my viralencephalitus), I was never able to wake up at night to go pee. I started putting them on myself when I was around 6 or 7.

7) One of the girls at CdE popped some zits on my back on Saturday, and it was the freakin' sweetest thing ever. I know it's gross... but I think it just shows the family side of the relationship. She also calls me her mom and she calls Jessica her sister.

8) Last, but not least, I didn't realize it until a couple of months ago that I eat like a squirrel. I take a bite and immediately put the food in my left cheek. I don't ever chew with the right side of my mouth. I didn't ever realize this until Juan Ramon pointed it out to me when I took them all out to dinner. I've tried to stop since then, but I can't... It takes way to much concentration to break that habit.

Okay... who to tag. I am not even sure if I have 8 consistent readers... I'll try with Keith, Ben, Obie, Jen, Becca, Tia, Lonnie, & Jen.

I love Mexico. I don't just love the kids, but I love the culture as well. It's things like this that just make so much sense to combine. Why should we seperate the sports? I had a much better picture of one of these with the actual hoop and basket and with the net for the soccer goal as well, but let's just say that my boy deleted 400 pictures off of my camera on Saturday - and it was one of those. Patty and I rocked it and climbed over 2 fences each way... even over chainlink while yet under the barbwire. She even scraped her knee and started bleeding just to get the other pic... but at least this one still gets the point across.
This was a great weekend. It was really casual, and I feel like I got to spend a lot of one on one time with the kids. There have been some that I have been wanting to be able to spend some time with, and I was able to spend some with them.
There was a group of 22 people that came down on Saturday and were there part day on Sunday as well. It's always great to meet new people down there and see them fall in love with the kids. I was very blessed by them, I could see their hearts growing before me, and they truly wanted to know their stories and how things worked there. One of them also told me on Sunday morning that they had prayed for my ministry to CdE the night before and that God would bless me. I was so shocked and blessed. God knows that I need all I can get. :)
Lots of people assume that kids in orphanages have horrible lives, and then there are ones like Door of Faith and even Casa de Elizabeth to where people think that most of them have it pretty well off and are all set for the future... Well, I just found out this past weekend that 3 of them don't know how to read or write. I'm not talking about the ones 6 and under... I'm talking about 2 10-year old boys and a 15 year old girl. It's absolutely crazy. I was spending time with one of the girls that isn't a strong reader when one of the boys had her write a note for him... I was shocked. I know they have tutors and that they are in school, so I really need to know what level they are at. I want to bring down some beginning writing and reading supplies for them and maybe make this a monthly ongoing project. I'm going to ask for it, because they obviously need more help than what they are getting. If anyone has any ideas of where to get some Spanish reading/writing materials for beginners, I would greatly appreciate it.

I can't wait to go down to CdE tomorrow... It's been 4 weeks, and that's a really long time for me. I got my very first letter from the boy that I sponsor, Jesus Humberto, earlier this week. It's a huge deal to me because last September he lied and said he didn't have a sponsor just so he didn't have to write me a letter. We had a whole conversation about how I don't want a letter if he doesn't want to write me one... I never thought he cared about letters, because of his personality and also because he never even opened up the birthday card I gave him - or even took it with him. Yet, all of a sudden, he did. He told me that he missed me in both Spanish and English. He updated me on how he is going to play soccer now instead of baseball, but that they won their baseball game last Sunday 15-7. Here's the best part.... He told me that they raced and won because they have faith. How awesome is that? I am so blessed.

PS. All but 3 kids are now sponsored. These 3 have been there less than a month - I haven't even met 2 of them yet. God is good, and He is providing for these kids! :)

Has anyone ever heard about the book The Prophet? Does anyone know if this guy was trying to make his own religion and/or if this book is supposed to be a religious book of Holy Scripture (like the Bible - or where other people would include the Koran, etc.)? Just curious... Here's a link to one page about it. The Prophet

A guy at work sent me the following to my MySpace e-mail, and at first glance I thought it was wack... but then I thought, well, parts are okay. I think my vocabulary just isn't big enough to fully understand what is being said... so there's the main issue. :)

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. Take the plough and the forge and the mallet and the lute, The things you have fashioned in necessity or for delight. For in revery you cannot rise above your achievements nor fall lower than your failures. And take with you all men: For in adoration you cannot fly higher than their hopes nor humble yourself lower than their despair. And if you would know God be not therefore a solver of riddles. Rather look about you and you shall see Him playing with your children. And look into space; you shall see Him walking in the cloud, outstretching His arms in the lightning and descending in rain. You shall see Him smiling in flowers, then rising and waving His hands in trees.

Any ways, please let me know your opinion and what you may know about it. Thanks.

My niece is now 3 years old and completely obsessed about birthdays and candles. So, to not much surprise, today is no different. So, to all you moms, thankful to your wife that she's a great mom, and those who just like or dislike your mom:

"Happy Birthday to Mother's Day" to you!

It's a new song. Don't hate... I know you are all jealous that you didn't get to sing it today. :)

I ran across a prayer I wrote when I was in bible college. It's just another proof of why I am called to be single but also how God has tried to keep me in His hands the whole way. I first prayed and wrote this prayer when I was learning Inductive Bible Study and how to color code words to help find the true meaning - and this is why I am color coding it now.

Lord,

Help me remember that my heart is not mine but Yours! Help me not give away what is Yours to any man until it is a direct command from You Lord with...

Your voice

by

Your Word

so that

I might not doubt!

Lord Jesus, I need you desperately to give me strength and to remind me of the many promises You have given to me. I do not want to fall because of my weakness, but I want to stand in Your strength.

I love You Jesus.

Well, I'm back from Montreal. It was a long quick trip. I got there on Sunday around 6:00 pm, so I was able to meet up with everyone for dinner. During the week, I ate at so many good restaurants - Italian, French, Sushi, Greek, and even American. I haven't drank this much in a long time. But, it's hard to pass up a good glass of wine with dinner when it's free - or it will be after my expense reimbursement. I also had to try their specialty beers - I find it important to partake of many parts of the culture.
We worked so much. We met at 7 a.m., worked from 7:45 - 7:30 pm every day. We ate dinner at 8, and because everything there takes forever and is extremely slow, we wouldn't be done until 10. It was hard to do anything because everything was closed. I did go out to a couple of bars one night. We ran into a VP on the street, and so that was pretty interesting. The city is beautiful though. It has great culture, art, archticture, beauty - tulips galore!, and great character. I am so beat. It's hard to be "on" for that long. Everyone was starting to get a little more casual with our conversations as the week progressed. I never thought I would hear a director or above talk as much as crap as I did this week, but it's good to know that they are not ignorant to it all. I can't wait to go to Amadeo tomorrow. It's been a long time, and I just want to be there.

I have a busy week and a half ahead of me... Tonight is Prims. Tomorrow and Friday, I am training people on our new system here at work and I am part of the "go-live support". Most likely, I will be working from 5:30 a.m. to 7-8 p.m. Saturday is the Cinco de Amadeo outreach, and I'm really excited about that. I can't wait. I'm going to have the Prims help do the grocery bags tonight. Sunday morning at 7:00 I am flying out to Montreal for work. I am going to be there until Friday night to assist them in going onto our new system. I am totally bummed that I will not be able to go to Amadeo on Sunday, it was my time to be able to go. I was going to try to leave later, like at 1, but then it would have cost my company an extra $700 for the airfare, so that option didn't fly too well. That very next Sunday is Mother's day, and then I just have to work another 5 days before I get to go down to the orphanage again. Wahoo!

The kids at the orphanage are getting sponsors! It's so awesome. There are only 10 boys and 3 girls that need sponsors right now. Out of these, only 5 of them have been there since last year, the rest are all new from February or March. What gets me is why people don't want to sponsor boys... I don't get it. Why are girls so much more desirable? People also tend to want younger kids. The 5 that need sponsors are 10-21. Yes, 21 year olds do need sponsors... Anywho, it's totally awesome that so many of the kids have sponsors now. God is good!

PS. I have updated here with the pics of the kids that need sponsors in case anyone is interested. :)