I was reading Keith's latest blog and his struggle as a parent, and it reminded me of what has been going through my head since Monday. There are times where I discipline the kids at CdE, and there are times where I wonder if I did it in the right way. Here are some examples.

Cruz (10) and Arnulfo (6) are brothers. They were fighting and wrestling and both were crying. I was able to calm both of them down, but naturally, it took Arnulfo a little longer to stop crying. Just as I got him to calm down, Cruz came over and put sunglasses on a football and made it seem like it was talking. It totally pissed Arnulfo off and made him angry and scared. This was the 2nd time he made his brother cry since I broke up their fight. I immediately took the football and the glasses away from him and told Jesus Humberto to give them to Cruz in the morning, but that he wasn't allowed to have them that night. Cruz was mad, but he handled it well. The next day, I saw him sitting at a table by himself and looking beyond sad, and I hope that it wasn't because of me. It made me wonder if I should have even interfered or if I should have just let them work it out. ~ Another tidbit about Cruz, he has been at the orphanage a year longer than his brother and sister.

Angel just turned 11 in December. He was fighting (fist fighting) with Perla (a girl). They fought for a good 2-3 hours off and on, and I probably had to break up about 30 fights between them. In the end, I couldn't handle it anymore. I made him stay outside while she was inside. He didn't talk to me for a good 2 hours and he would run away from me anytime I tried to come close to him. Now, I know how a lot of these kids function, but Angel, I know really well. I know that he felt like I was really mad at him and possibly even doubted my love for him. I felt like God was telling me that I need to tell him that I love him. Yet, even after God told me that, it took another hour before he would even let me get close to him. Finally, he did. I snuck up behind him, put my arms around him, and told him, "It's okay. You are a good boy. I love you." He then let me give him a hug and kiss his cheek. He was completely fine after that. Even though our relationship was fully restored, I wonder if I excused his hitting Perla or made him think that it would be okay to do it in the future.

I know that my situations are completely different then those of an actual parent, but these kids are as close to being my kids as I will ever have. I love them more than I can explain ~ even those that I have met their actual mothers, like Angel. These are just a couple of the situations. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I finally move down there. How will I function and second guess everything I do? How do you parents do it?

Oh, and please pray for me. Please pray that I will learn Spanish easier.