Yesterday was incredible. Quite possibly one of the best days of my life. I had court from the day that I got the speeding ticket, so I decided to take a floating holiday....


So here is my day:

I slept in until 7:45. Wow, watch out!

Then, I got up, relaxed, ate breakfast, and then I watched In Her Shoes since I missed practically the entire thing from the night before. I started to cry in parts, I did actually shed some tears, but with my cell non-stop ringing during the end of the movie, it caused them to run dry a little early. I truly hate it when that happens, because I like good crys, but it's all good in the end.

Finally, at 11:30, I took a shower...If felt great waiting until then. It's almost liberating. Then I got ready and went to court.

At court I realized that to protest against my ticket, I would need to request for a hearing date. So, I decided to plea "responsible" and that I would just suck it up and go to school. Yet, while I was waiting for over a half hour, I got to know the 3 women that sat around me. If one of them didn't have her son with her, I don't think any of us would have been able to handle it. Yet, 14 month old Tyler was so cute, and he more than gave us the entertainment we needed.

As I was waiting to meet up with my friend Jessica, I decided to do a little shopping.... for her. Her bridal shower is tomorrow, and I had yet to get her anything. Well, I went to Victoria's Secret and found her some beautiful lingerie that will make her blush and be oh so embarrassed infront of her soon to be in-laws. Then I tried on some bikinis and realized my body is not where it needs to be to be able to wear one yet... Then, I got my dress for her wedding after she met me at the mall. It fits perfect, and I am beyond excited for her special day to get here.

Back to shopping for the bridal shower at Target for all of the oh so fun games.

By this time, I was famished, so I went home and ate. I had just enough time to get ready and head off to the gym. Jenn and I had an awesome work out. I think we did 108 flights of stairs which is also equivelant to over 2 and a half miles.... Insane, but it's great. I am loving working out with her 2 times a week. It gives me variation from my routine, and we really do push each other.

Then off home to relax before bed. I got a little myspace, poker, and J time in there... good times, good times. Then, my most fabulous day ended.

I think it was beyond awesome for one fact and one fact only... I had the day off and no one else did. It was incredible. I ran my errands, relaxed, and then realized I only had 1 day of work before 2 days without it. Oh, life can be great sometimes. :)

If I have to experience this.... so do you. I love art, but I don't necessarily think this was the best way to try to get the message across. I'm perturbed on multiple levels because of this. I especially think that he should have got Brittany's consent.

Here is a link to the article that is below:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060328/ap_en_ot/britney_art_brouhaha







Britney Sculpture of Birth Causes Stir
By VERENA DOBNIK, Associated Press Writer 57 minutes ago

NEW YORK - Britney Spears' will soon be giving birth again — in Brooklyn, as a sexy sculpture that has drawn thousands of hate e-mails.

"This is a new take on pro-life. Pro-lifers normally promote bloody images of abortion. This is the image of birth," Daniel Edwards said of his work, to be unveiled at a Brooklyn gallery in April, months after Edwards' sculpture of Ted Williams severed head stirred up an artistic storm.

The life-size pop princess is naked and pregnant, crouching face-down on a bare-toothed bear rug as the baby's head appears on the opposite end.

On Tuesday at his studio in Moosup, Conn., Edwards was pouring a mold to cast the sculpture in resin. It'll be transported to the Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery in Brooklyn's artsy Williamsburg neighborhood, where Britney the artwork is to appear next to a display case filled with pro-life materials.

When some bloggers heard about the exhibit — "Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston" — the gallery was inundated with about 3,000 e-mails from around the world in just a week, split between pro-choice and pro-life opinions.

"We also got calls from Tokyo, England, France. Some people are upset that Britney is being used for this subject matter," said gallery co-owner David Kesting. "Others who are pro-life thought this was degrading to their movement. And some pro-choice people were upset that this is a pro-life monument."

The gallery is hiring extra security guards for the free exhibit opening April 7 and running two weeks.

The sculptor's three children — ages 3, 6, and 8 — helped build the first clay model of the sculpted Britney, mainly the bear rug.

"At first, the kids thought it was kind of gross. Yukky. But then, they got curious," their 40-year-old dad said in a telephone interview from his home, which is near his studio.

Compared to the hubbub around his art, Edwards' life is peaceful. He takes care of his two boys and a girl during the day, while his wife, a microbiologist whom he married right after high school, goes to work. Then they switch childcare duties while he works on his art.

His sculpture of the pop diva comes six months after she gave birth to her first child, Sean Preston — and about a half year after Edwards displayed what he called his "shrine" to baseball great Williams, whose body was decapitated and frozen in hopes that medical science could one day revive him.

When asked why he creates art that generates publicity for him by piggybacking on subjects hyped in the media, Edwards said: "You're bombarded with these stories. And there's a thread that winds back to the art. That's not a bad thing. People are interested in these topics, and it works for art as well."

Spears' publicist, Leslie Sloan, did not immediately respond to a request for comment from The Associated Press on Tuesday. Edwards said he never spoke to or met the star, and that he fashioned her face and figure from photographs.

"I admire her. This is an idealized figure," he said. "Everyone is coming at me with anger and venom, but I depicted her as she has depicted herself — seductively. Suddenly, she's a mom."

His aim, said the son of a mother who gave birth to him when she was 17, was to stir up debate about a difficult topic that "is greater than the issues presented by either pro-life and pro-choice advocates."

When asked whether he's pro-life, he said, "You nailed me. I'm not saying that I am. I wouldn't march with either pro-life or pro-choice advocates. This is not meant to be political."

A Democrat, "I don't judge anybody for the decision they make."

In response to Oz's comment on my Abandonment post.....

Yes, I have this fear that I am abandoning them just like their family and everyone else, and in the end, it would be better for me to not go at all.

Yet, Michelle, Susie, and I have all been talking, and we don't want it to be this way. So, we are going to try to go down there one Saturday a month to spend the day with the kids so they know that we do care for them, and that we are not abandoning them.

Michelle and I were talking on Sunday, and we both feel like God may be helping us feel this way as part of Him calling us to do this work on a more permanent basis. Honestly, it kind of scares me in some ways, but in others, it's really exciting and I know I would never be happier.

On April 8th, I am participating in a walk for Autism Speaks. It raises money for Austism research. It's only a 1 mile walk, but it's because they have it at a city park that is free so that all of the money goes to the research and not the hosting location. One place actually asks for $32,000 to use it for a walk like this. So, as you can see, the point of this walk is to raise money more than the walking. If you would like to donate money to this cause, you can click on this link: http://www.autismwalk.org/site/TR?px=1469342&pg=personal&fr_id=1191. Also, to get more information about the organization, you can go here: http://www.autismwalk.org.

Since I am going to Camp Barnabas during the week designated for children with Autism and I love Autistics in general, there's no way I could not participate.

Last one about Mexico... I promise.

Abandonment.....

Even though it is incredibly rewarding to go to an orphange, it's still really hard. It's not just an easy going, fun-loving time. For me, there really isn't that many struggles while I am there. Honestly, I have a ton of self confidence issues and I always get nervous when I'm meeting new people. So, obviously that is there, but besides that, it's relatively easy. One thing that is great though about orphans.... I really hate calling them that by the way.... is that they tend to be more outgoing than most, so it's really easy to get to know them. Anyway, besides all that, and back to my point... I love going to orphanages overall, but I sometimes think that it's only out of selfish motives that I go. I enjoy it, I think it is fun, and I personally feel rewarded or that I am given a prize because of the kids I meet. Yet when I leave, I feel like crap. People might not think about it, but of course, I do. See, here I am. I am a person that comes into these precious, vulnerable, deserving children's lives. I seek to love on them, help them have fun, and just be with them. Yet, I am only in their lives for 3 days. Then I leave. I am just admist the hundreds or thousands of people that go through there every year. Some of them, I will never see again, I honestly have no idea. When I think about Ramon crying when we left, I wonder if he does that often. Is that him getting his hopes up? It makes me wonder if he thinks he'll go home with his family and if he would even want to leave the orphanage. With him, I know he has other brothers and sisters, yet they're not at the orphanage... which means that they are most likely at home with his parents or relatives... which totally breaks my heart.

So, all this is to say, that sometimes I wonder if me going to places like this is merely selfish because all I am doing in the end, is abandoning them, just like everyone else. So, if you wonder why I'd want to do it fulltime or on a permanent basis, this is why.

I have composed a lot of miniblogs about the trip to Mexico I took last week. I tried to break it up as easy I can to make it easier to read. I must say, I am really pretty proud of myself for how in tune I am with the capabilities of html and the liking. Photobucket.com is an awesome resource to use. I like it a lot better than flickr ~ just for the record.

The Playground

To begin this one... I had to give an overall picture of what their "playground equipment looks like". Here's a picture of Alex putting his truck down the slide... it's such a classic picture.






You can tell that it was nice at one time... Yet, it has got older. Time has passed on. The slide is starting to come out on the bottom, as seen below.






Yet, it's worse near the top. As seen here:






Really, how safe can it possibly be with all of those nails sticking out? We are going back in September, and me and Michelle have thought about raising money to give them a new playground. They only have one working swing on each playground set, and they are so old. Another thing they really need is a ramada type covering over the tables in the courtyard. We'll see if we can do both of those things. These are things that they would appreciate more than anything and use constantly. It saddens me to see them use these things, and I think most parents would freak out if their kids even thought about going on playground equipment that looked like that. Yet, these kids use it, and it's all they have... and it saddens me that they probably don't even realize that.....

Randomness....

Okay, so even though it may have seemed like I shared a lot... there's more... there's always more.

I was just thinking about the kids at the orphanage, and I really can't get them out of my head. There, kids that are 12, seem 12. It's not like here where they try to be 14, 15, or even 16. I work with the youth at my chuch, and it's not even as often as I would like, but I try. Almost all of the kids at my church have parents that love them, and if they don't have that, then there are plenty of other people that have time to love them. It's not this way at the orphanage. There, it saddens me how many have voids in their lives because people just don't have time to love on them as much as they need it. When there's 80 kids and 12 people on staff, it doesn't allow that much one on one time. With that being said, it saddens me, and it works me in ways that I can not even describe. I felt like I have this need to love them and give them hugs and kisses everytime we seperate, even if it's just that I'm going to be spending a little time with one of the other kids. At home, it seems like kids or youth get too big to give them kisses and hugs, yet there, it seems mandatory. It might not be a known mandatory, but it's mandatory within me. See, I can not withhold love from them, and I can't help but kiss them and hug them, and I don't care if they're 5, 11, 12, or 17. They need it, and they deserve it. So, they're going to get it. When you feel their little arms squeeze you harder than you've been squeezed in a while, it becomes evident, and it gives you unneeded confidence to continue to show them love.

When I am there, and even when I come home, I realize that there is a part of me that is only happy when I am with orphans or at an orphanage. I would love love love to be able to live at one, and I would be completely happy to do it for the rest of my life. See, the only struggle I really have while I am there is with the language. If I lived there, I would be fluent, and there would be hardly any struggles.

When I was in Romania in 2001, they were cleaning the pipes for the hot water, and so I only had hot water for maybe a week. It sucked beyond belief, but after a while, you get over it, move on, and begin to somewhat get used to it.

I don't know if I will ever work full time in an orphanage, and I wouldn't be able to do it in the US, because there aren't any. We are so blessed to be in a country that has foster care and group homes, that there really isn't anything past 8 kids in a home. There is the boys and girls ranches, but that's about it.

Back to Imuris, Sonora in Mexico.....

There, they have nothing. They reuse paper cups and styrofoam plates. They sleep with 6 girls / boys in a room usually. They don't have very many changes of clothes, and they hardly own anything themselves. I'm sure they don't have hot water. The bathrooms don't have toilet paper in them, and the trash cans are outside of the stalls if they actually use it. Almost half of the bathroom stalls don't even have doors on them, and the ones that do, your knees hit when you're sitting on the toilet because they are so small. Some of the matresses are falling apart, but they are still used, because they are still somewhat together, and they are better than nothing. The American part of me gets grieved and I feel so bad for them. I wish I could go to Pottery Barn and spoil them like no tomorrow. I wish that I could give them all new matresses, clothes, toys, and that they would live in a huge mansion to where they could each have their own room and have it decorated to their special likings. Yet, then I wake up. They are totally content with everything. Wanting is addicting, and it causes satisfaction to never be met... For this reason, I don't want that much to change. See, now, they appreciate what they have. If they got accustomed to everything I just mentioned, then they would take it all for granted, and they wouldn't appreciate as much. Maybe these kids would be deifferent because of the lives that they live. Yet, I wouldn't want to rob that spirit in them. I am jealous of them for it. I get upset when I don't have very much money in the bank or if I go a while without a pedicure or a manicure, or if I haven't bought new clothes lately. I want to be more like them. I want to realize that there is so much more to life. I know there is, and I have experienced it, and I actually experience it often. Yet, it can be so easy to get into the rut of it all.

Well, I'll write more later... this is it for now......

Saturday, March 18

We were only able to go to the orphanage for a couple of minutes to be able to say our goodbyes. Oh no, this is going to be hard. I saw Ramon as soon as we pulled up, but then I didn't see him anymore. I decided to let Ethan, a 5 yr old that was with us, get some Arnolfo time in, so I decided not to hang out with him yet... Here's another picture of him just because he's so freakin' cute....




Megan and I went off on a hunt to find Ramon. He was over by the horse and the donkey. It was probably his chore for the day. He kept wanting us to touch the horse. I finally realized that he was wearing shorts and noticed his completely white legs. It was really shocking but totally cute because of the drastic difference between them and the rest of his body. We each gave him several hugs, then back to the courtyard to see other people.....

I finally got to say goodbye to Arnolfo for the first time. Then, I hear that they opened the girls wing, so it's time to go in there and say bye to some of the girls. Rosalinda was just woken up, but her face totally lit up when she saw me. She hugged me as tight as her little arms could and she just held on forever. Margarita was on her bed too, and after I gave her a hug, she gave me a friendship bracelet. It was so sweet. I continued to give them both hugs and realized that I couldn't handle it anymore and went off to find more girls....

Then, off to go between Arnolfo and Ramon. Arnolfo was one of the people that watched Jesus take the baseball apart the other day, so he wanted to do it too. He asked me to help him cut along the stitching so he could get to the string part. I helped him, but I also broke one of the handles on his scissors. I felt so bad.... Here, they don't have that many, but I totally broke one of the few pairs that they had. He just thought it was funny though and didn't care because they still worked. A couple days earlier, he was using half of a pair of scissors to try to do it....

I must have given Arnolfo about 10 hugs and Ramon about 20. There is no exaggeration here. It was really hard to say goodbye to them. Ramon started crying, and he actually gave every person with us a hug. He is the nicest and sweetest kid alive. Here's a picture of one of our hugs... I had no idea I was violating him.....lol






It was so hard to leave, but I couldn't take saying goodbye to them anymore. We all got in our cars and leave. That ride home sucked so bad b/c 1) I just said goodbye to all of the kids I fell in love with and 2) if I can't be with the kids at the orphanage, then I don't want to be around anyone. I just wanted to be home, but it took forever. Yet, even though it ended with sadness, it was good to get home, and it was even better to be able to experience it.

Friday, March 17 - Happy St. Patrick's Day!

We went to the orphanage a little earlier that day, because we planned on taking a longer lunch to go to Magdalena. When we got there, I immediately saw Ramon and Arnolfo, two of the boys that have stolen my heart. I started off the morning playing basketball with Mario, Ramon, Megan, and Michelle. After a while, Ramon was tired, but yet, he would never take a nap ~ he's 12. So, when he was sitting down and resting, I decided to get some Arnolfo time in, and I played soccer with him for a good while. He's so cute, and he gets so into it. Then, he was trying to throw the soccer ball up on the roof. Since he's 5, he couldn't. So, I decided to do that for him. We then started a little game. I would throw it onto the roof, and he would anxiously await it to fall. Then, he would throw the ball to me over his head while I stood behind him. After a while, he decided to head butt it back to me. It was so cute...






I am always amazed at how many sports they play with one ball. I think during this time with Arnolfo, we played baseball, basketball, and soccer with the soccer ball...

Then, Jesus began to take a baseball apart. There must have been 6 or 7 of us around him as he was somberly doing it. It was amazing to see that it consisted of 3 different types of string that was around a normal bouncy ball... Here's a picture of Jesus holding the contents, and Ramon is on the right of him:




Off to Magdalena. It's a beautiful town and is actually a decent size for that part of Sonora. We got to eat at a really good restaurant and shop a little. There really wasn't that much to buy this time except for this absolutely adorable dress for my niece....

Back to the orphanage. Megan and I went into the kitchen and asked them if they needed any help. Finally, I get to so some time of service project, because the fence and painting were all taken care of. I offered, but everyone else insisted that they did the other things... Fine. They were having pancakes for dinner, and they had it under control, so they asked us to do the dishes. It was a fun experience, but I realized how much they do not waste anything. We must have washed over 80 paper cups. It amazed me that they didn't throw them away. I have heard and seen people wash plastic disposable cups...but never paper cups. They're paper, so they loose form after a while. Maria and Emilia, the women that work in the kitchen, gave us some orange Tang as we worked. After a while, I looked at the bottom of the cup and realized we were drinking out of reused cups... Oh well, it's nothing to get grossed out about. Yet, after we were done. They gave us each two pancakes. We both just at 3 item combinations at the restaurant less than 2 hours before. Yet, there is no way we could tell them that, so we had to suck it up and try to keep it all down... Somehow, we survived.

There were other cute little things that happened throughout the day, and I got to spend more time with Rosalinda during the magic show, but these were the highlights.

Overall, this was an incredible day, and I realize that I am beyond blessed to be here and to be experiencing this.

Thursday, March 16

In the morning, there were a few more kids that stayed behind. I got to play baseball with 2 of the Ramons, Jesus, Raeanna, and Susie. I totally suck and they laughed at me, but it was so much fun. We only had 3 people on my team, so when they were both on base, it was really hard to get a decent hit to bring one of them home. The picture below is of one of the Ramons (not my favorite) and Jesus.




After they were completely tired, we went over to the courtyard area, and a bunch of the younger kids were climbing on a small ficus tree. It's pretty interesting how many things you can do with 1 ficus tree. Arnolfo played a game to where he would try to get a frisbee stuck in it, and then I would have to get it down. Yet, overall, they enjoyed taking turns climbing on it more. The picture below is of Arnolfo.






During our lunch break, I got to take my one and only shower on the trip. By this time, I had been down there almost 2 full days. They had no hot water, so no one was too anxious to take one. Yet, I sucked it up and felt absolutely amazing afterwards.

I continued on my first "give it my all" day and went back to the orphanage. I met a little girl named America and I pushed her and Louis on the swings... Man, I forget how long some kids can swing when they don't have to do the work themselves. Yet, seeing the smiles on their faces and having them wait in line to have a turn to get pushed... is priceless.




After that, Susie met a little girl named Rosalinda and I tried to sneak in and get some bonding time in with her. She's 6, but she looks like she's four. She's absolutely beautiful....




Each day, our group tried to have some sort of organized activities for the kids where we could give to them. This was the painting fingernails day...and that's when Gloria's true colors came through. She's a 5 year old little girl that has received a lot of attention due to bad behavior in the past. I have never seen a kid throw so many tantrums and do so many disgusting things before... Yet, she needed love. Megan did a great job of showing her that, meanwhile, I just kept trying to show her the right way to act and then tried to reward her for that....Here is a picture of her with Megan.






Overall, it was an incredible day, and it was sad to leave because I am finally doing what I came here to do...

Wednesday, March 15

Finally, we were able to go to the orphanage, meet the kids, and find out what type of projects they had for us. There are currently 70 kids there, and about 2/3 of them are girls and they don't have any kids under the age of 5. I was kind of disappointed to hear that, because last time, I spent most of my time in the room that had 5 kids, ages 10 months to 5. We found out that they needed a little bit of help building parts of a fence and that they had 2 rooms that needed to be painted.

When we were there in the morning, there were only a handful of kids, because the rest were at school. We didn't have any of the supplies to work on the projects, so we just got to know the few kids that were there.

During this time, Megan had her first fantabulous and strengthening experience. She surpassed it with flying colors even if she had some hesitations at first.

In the afternoon, more kids were there, yet I totally felt lathargic. I decided that I will not take a nap during lunch time again because I am here to be used and I refuse not to get everything I can out of the experience. During this time, I watched some of the boys play baseball.

Here's a picture of their baseball field that they titled "Field of Dreams":






Overall, I felt completely worthless because there wasn't that much to do, and I ended the day being completely disappointed in myself.

Pretty sure that it's going to take me a while to talk about everything that happened during the time that I was there, so I am going to break it up into days.

Day 1, March 14

On our way, there were many things that caused delays. At the border, someone decided to say that we were working instead of touring which caused chaos. When it's volunteer work, it's not work because we're not getting paid, so we definitely don't have to pay any taxes to the Mexican government.

After we finally arrived at the Ranchito, our not so deluxe accommodations, we unloaded most of the trailor, and someone, who shall remain nameless (not myself), locked the keys in the trailor. All of our food was in the trailor, so it was a ton of fun looking for keys that were locked inside and then having to find someone to break a lock in town. Now, when I say that our accommodations weren't that nice, I mean it... I will clarify. The place we stayed in has a tin roof, which makes it tons of fun when it rains. Thankfully, it didn't this time, but when I was there 3 years ago, it did. There is just a room with about 10 bunkbeds. There are no matresses, so you just have to put your camping foam pad on it with your sleeping bag. Thankfully, you get so tired from the day that you can sleep on anything. It is still Mexico, so we were unable to flush the toiletpaper. With over 15 girls sharing one bathroom, it doesn't stay pleasant for that long.....

Yet, when I lay down to go to bed, I am anxious to get to the orphange in the morning and am so stoked that I'm here.

ONE

If anyone hasn't heard about this or signed it yet.... It's basically a campaign to make extreme poverty history and cause it to cease from existence. You can add your name to it and/or check it out at: http://www.one.org. Bono's on there too....lol