My quote of the week:

I may appear to be mature on the outside, but I'm immature on the inside.

I have been experiencing quite a bit of spiritual warefare lately, and I'm finally starting to recognize it... I was thinking on the way to work today about how the devil's best trick is to get people to believe that he doesn't exist. Well, I think there's a similar element for us Christians, and that's for us to forget that he's out there ~ even for a couple of hours or days or weeks ~ to where we will start believing that it's all in our own mind.

I have been struggling lately with just my thoughts and trying to figure out ways in which I can justify things. I knew that it's what I was doing, and I was totally able to recognize it.... Yet, I just kept thinking about how God could maybe turn a missionary friend into missionary dating... It's so completely retarded.. and I'm just being completely vulnerable and honest right now, so please don't judge me. I know that this is wrong, and I have known this all along, but sometimes the devil puts these things in your head and makes them seem like their your own hopes. Yet, they're not. They're not at all. They're not remotely close to what I would truly want. They are complete rubbish. It's just crazy. So, please pray for me that I will continue to fight these battles and be obedient to God.

Today is the first day that I have been back that I can finally say, "Yes, India was awesome.." It seems like it took me awhile to get past some of the little things, but it was indeed a blessing.

One thing I wanted to talk about that seemed to amaze me happened during the prayer time. After every session, people were given the opportunity to receive prayer. The normal routine was that the Indians would stand for prayer, and then the Americans would go and pray for them. It was a blessing for all of us, because that is one of the main reasons why we were there. Yet, sometimes, too many people stood and there just wasn't enough of us. One time, I went and prayed for 3 people during the prayer time, and then the pastor did the closing prayer and everyone sat down. I had planned to pray for another lady after I finished praying for my current one, but she sat down and didn't receive prayer. Later that night, one of the main speakers noticed that no Indians were praying for each other during this time. He did the same thing at the end of his message as usual, and he had people stand to receive prayer. Yet, he then said, "I don't want any of the Americans to do any of the praying. American's do not have any more influence with God or any more power than any of you. Even though we came here to bless you and to pray for you, we are not the only ones that God can use. I have noticed that not very many of you step up to pray for other people. Look around, see the people around you that need prayer and are asking for prayer. Then, go and pray for them." This was awesome, even though I felt completely helpless... but it was incredible, because they were starting to step up and pray for each other. They need to be comfortable praying for one another on a regular basis and in their churches. These are the leaders. After this happened, they started to step in on other prayer times as well. Even though it might not have been as big of a turnout as we would have liked, it was awesome because they are growing. They are being stretched. They are taking steps for God in new ways. Here is one time in which I am thankful for.

Mission ~ my definition

• Purpose
• Complete surrender to God
• Allowing Him to fill us completely
• Availability to Him
• No business with regular things
• Everyone has same focus
• More power in everything

Missions give some a spiritual high or new experience ~ especially their first. It's awesome to witness, and it's something that we only get to experience a limited times in our lifetime. These are times that we need to treasure.

Intercessory Prayer

God calls us all to it, but some people have it as a gift... I wonder if it's something that we can pursue and then that God would give us out of zeal for it. I know that God gives us good gifts when we ask, and that He would be happy to give it to many people. Yet, I know that there are some people that have asked for tongues and other things that some would consider "available to all men"... Yet, there are people that have not received them after asking, and there are others gifts like healing that seem like they are for a select few. Where is intercessory in that?" There are other gifts like teaching and helps that sometimes seem natural to people or that people can get trained in.... Is intercessory prayer like that? I don't know - I could be completely wrong about all of this, but I know that it is something I've slacked in for a long time. There have always been times that God will give me someone's name to pray for, and there have been times where God has had me commit to pray for people. It always amazes me how God will remind me of those commitments that He had me made a year or two before. It's happened twice now in the past couple of months...

Yet, after meeting Oz in India, I have more ideas and inspiration to really focus on intercessory prayer. When I saw his daily list and then his "when I can" list for that day, I have to say that I was overwhelmed. There are people on his list that he doesn't even remember who they are, yet he continues to pray for them. It is amazing how much God has put it in his heart and has enabled him to do it. I am thankful to God for him, because he totally blessed and inspired me by just knowing how focused upon prayer he has made his life.

When I asked him for help in making my own list, here is the advice he gave (keep in mind that some of it is personal so it could changed for you and others I have taken out the specifics for confidentiality purposes):

The first thing I recommend is to keep it SMALL to start with. If you try to make a huge list, its pretty easy to fail because its just too big to get yourself around and if you get behind then you feel overwhelmed and you drop it.
Based on Biblical principles, the first people you should have on your list are people whose authority you are under. This has the added benefit of the fact that you are praying for people who greatly influence your life.
The second group of people is immeadiate family . Thirdly I put people who are in full time ministry or people who are in need. After that, I toss in people who I figure aren't getting much prayer support or just people I like.
So if I were building you a prayer list, I'd start with something like this:
DAILY
1) Your Pastor
2) PM and PW
3) Your Boss
4) Future spouse
5) Ben and Ranchana
The second part of the list is the "When you can list". The top part you do every day, the other part you do if you have extra time:
WHEN YOU CAN
6) Missionaries you know
7) Missionary friendships
8) People in crisis
9) Kids in your classes at church
10) India
11) Others
12) Cool people

I added that part so that any of you who would like to implement a similar list will have an easier way of creating it. I started creating my list yesterday, and I have to admit that I added between 10 and 20 people to it today. There are always a ton of people to pray for, but I will try to keep it small for now, and try to remember that if you create your own list.

For all of you that have this all worked out already, you can just disregard this entire post... :P

Well we're finally home... I can't believe how much God can hook us up, I don't know how or why God chooses to bless us more than we can imagine, and all the time. Is it possible to have too good of a God? If it is, we have one.
On the way there, we were able to see Germany. Yet, on the way home, we got to stop in Paris and London ~ and still get home 2 hours earlier than scheduled. I could never complain about seeing part of another country, even if it is just the airport.

Anyways, about India... This is where the true blessings lie because they are the ones that are eternal blessings and consist of things in the spiritual realm. As everyone knows, I love kids. It was so awesome to be able to pray for little 3 year olds and know that God is going to have His hand on their lives and protect them as they grow into men and women. It was also incredible to worship in a different language... as I think of it, I am reminded of a chorus line "Ye Ye Yishu"... All I learned of Hindi is that Yishu is Jesus, and I had no idea what I was singing. Yet, I truly enjoyed worshipping more in the Hindi and Napali languages than in English. There is just something that makes it more special and intimate with my God. This was a huge shocker for me, because that was one of my biggest trials that I endured when I was in Romania.

God has been calling me more to intercessory prayer lately... now the struggle is when I'm actually obedient. Yet, He continues to remind me and put it in my heart. In India, there was definitely an opportunity for it. Many times, people were able to ask for prayer, and then we were able to go and pray for them. Some people didn't speak English, even if they could understand it. It made it difficult because I wasn't always sure what they wanted prayer for, but I just prayed for them anyways. There are times that I just couldn't help but wonder "am I praying the right things?"...yet I can just trust that God had me pray for the right things... It's hard to explain, but there's still something that's beautiful about the whole process. It is truly an honor to be able to pray for people like that.

There are so many things that I can share, sometimes I can't think of them all. I will continue to post more of different topics as I think of them. During our trip, we met up with several people, some from Phoenix, LA, Atlanta, South Carolina... , and of course all of the others from India, Nepal, and SriLanka. One of the people that we got close to was Kent from Atlanta. During our stay there, we got him into blogging and showed him the need of it. As we shared many of the same memories, I encourage you to check out his blog, as it has all been about our trip so far. His blog has been added to my list or you can follow this link: www.bitsofoz.blogspot.com. One great 30 second memory is when we were walking down the streets of Dehli and noticed a dead rat in the middle of the road. Right after we noticed it, Kent said, "So, where is the dog to come and eat it?"... Right after he said that, the dog walked right by. It is truly overwhelming the amount and kinds of animals that rule the streets over there. I saw cows, monkeys, dogs, rats, water buffalos, and elephants... Yeah, being the animal-hater I am, that was way too many... Oh, how could I forget the bear that you can take your picture with or the snakes that the Snake Charmers have?....It's definiltey a culture of that is unique and unlike any other in this world.

As I mentioned above, I am starting to pursue intercessory prayer in a greater degree. Please e-mail me if you have any specific requests that aren't so obvious...There are some of you that are engaged and others that are having babies, so those are a little known...but feel free to e-mail my hotmail account or my work account for any prayer requests you may have.

Well we're taking off in 2 hours to go to the airport. I don't think we could be any more excited to get home. India is awesome and incredible, and God has moved so much ~ yet sometimes you just get ready to go. Please pray for safe travel and that we'll be able to leave the airport on the time....which would mean that there would be no fog.... Thank you all for your prayers while we were here, they have helped so much. Knowing others are praying is a huge comfort in and of itself... I just can't wait to get home, see all of you dear friends, and to listen to some Gavin Degraw and Jason Mraz.... oh what the sweet smell and sound of home will be. :)

Wow, I can't believe all that God has been doing. It's so incredible. Yesterday was the 1st full day of the conference, and it went really well. Relationships were already developing. Today at breakfast went well too. I can't believe the lives that some of these people live and the huge amounts of faith and visions that they have for the Lord's work. It's so encouraging and inspiring. They have huge dreams, and they are actually seeing them happen. Then, I started to experience some spiritual warfare. It was totally bumming me out and controlling my mood and attitude(oh how shocking!). I began feeling that I was inadequate and maybe not qualified to actually be here. Yet, once I recognized that I was having spiritual warfare and I talked about it, then we were able to pray and get rid of it. Ever since then, I have been more free just to do the work that God has called me to. I don't necessarily know how I'm being used exactly. I know that I have been an intercessor here and that I have finally found 3 kids to just love on....it took a little while at first... :) Yet, I can just rest in knowing that I am available to do God's work and that He is complete control. This has been an awesome, freeing experience for me. Please continue to pray that God will have complete victory over spiritual warfare and that my new friends will travel home safely tomorrow. I already have to say my first goodbyes ~ and it's with the group of people that I will miss the most. Unfortunately they are only able to stay for the first conference and can't attend the second. I hope all is well back home. I'm signing off for now....

Here I am in India... already using the internet. I haven't even slept my first night here. God is so awesome. Already, during our first meeting, we have met people that we would like to partner up with for future missions. Please continue to pray that we will form more relationships that will continue for years to come. India is very interesting so far and may cause little trials. The thing that is the hardest for me to deal with is the smell. It is so strong and overwhelming... it truly causes a senses overload. I have began praying that God will help me love the smell and to even enjoy it. :)

We got here safely, and even had a bonus on the way. We were actually able to spend some time in Frankfurt, Germany. We had an 11 hour delay on our flight, so we went into the city, shopped, ate frankfurters and drank German beer.

Well, that's it for now. We'll probably be able to give updates often. Till next time, may God's peace be upon all of you.

In about 12 hours the plane will be taking off for India... then on Tuesday morning, we will finally arrive. It still feels totally strange to be going to India. I feel blessed that I can go to this country in a time like this, where the need is so huge. Yet, I feel so helpless because I will be nothing to actually help in the matter. It makes sense though... How can I actually expect for everything to change, when we would be a burden to the Tsunami area with no place to stay.... when we'll probably be the distance away from Kansas to southern Texas... Even though I would love to go and offer relief and help in that area, at this point, it's only a dream. Yet, I know that we will be impacting that area... because there are pastors that live in that area and that have already helped in that area. I have noticed in my own life of ministry that sometimes you need a little rest so that you can serve better. So for all of you fellow bloggers who are just dying to spend some time praying for us... Here are some directed prayer needs:

• Pray that the pastors and church leaders of India will get the rest, vision, fellowship, and encouragement that they need so they can better serve in their hometowns.
• Pray that we will be totally empty of ourselves, have self-control, and that we will be patient so that no little idiosyncrasies will get in our way of loving others or cause distractions.
• Pray that we will be completely filled up with the Holy Spirit, that He will overflow from us onto the people around us, and that He will guide our words and lead us to the people He chooses us to impact/ impact us.
• Pray that our prayers will be guided and have much faith that God may move in powerful ways during times of ministry.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers... We are off in no time at all... Even though I feel so inadequate and unworthy to be going on this incredible trip to a country that God is crying for, I know that God will move and that my life will be changed forever...