I have changed drastically over the past 2 years. I look at where I was and where I am now...and I am astonished.

Two years ago, I was living with my parents. At times, I would take on my dad's anger problem and/or my mom's depression problem. I knew that in order to become emotionally and spiritually healthy, I had to move out of their house... I had to suck it up and start paying more bills.

Then I was blessed to live with B&MC and the kids. There, I was able to be encouraged and held accountable in the Lord on a higher degree. It was great. I was healed in some areas and my eyes were opened in others.

Since maybe November/December of last year, my eyes have been opened to more. I was blessed to go through a healing class at church, and that really helped me see more of the areas that I need healing for in my life. While I am going through this process, I have to be able to see and work on things that my eyes have become opened too.

God has given me more freedom and He has blessed me with many ways of being used. He has given me confidence in the workplace that I never thought I would possess. He has given me authority and wisdom that I am able to share around me... I do not like to be called Dr. Phil at work, but I am blessed when someone tells me that they come to me because I am one of the two good influences in their life and that is why they want me to help guide them.

There are times that I am beyond drained, but I see many people around me that are even more so. I see people that are seeking, crying out, because they have never been treated as if they deserve happiness in life. I see people that are starting to seek God on a different level. I see these people, and I thank God for allowing them to be apart of my life and for giving them to me as friends.

During this time, I have seen God start to shift where my ministry lies. I remember back in bible college how everyone stated what they were going to do afterwards. Some were going to be pastors, others missionaries, others worship leaders...... and when one guy said he was going to work in a corporation, the pastor said, "awesome, may you be well used. You may have more chances in that atmosphere because some people will never go to a church or a church function."... I immediately thought, wow... that's great... but I hope he doesn't backslide within the next year"... Now here I am, and I am blown away because I am being given those same opportunities. I am blessed, there are many people around me that go to Central Christian Church, including the guy I share a cube wall with. It's great because I am constantly reminded of it. We can talk about Christ and hold each other accountable when needed. It saddens me because I haven't been able to work with the youth very much. I feel like God has given me more of a "selective" ministry. I feel that I am called to hang out with the girls in the group home more and with Courtney and Michelle... It's not that I love these girls more, it is just that it seems like that is where God is leading me.

I think many times serving can often be mistaken. You don't have to serve in a church or a ministry in order to be effective for God. I am able to serve God at work. I am able to serve God by loving my family. I am able to serve God by being a friend to broken people. I am able to serve God by serving/loving my roommates. I am able to serve God in youth or children's ministry. I am able to serve God in many ways. Just because I am not serving as often in one ministry does not mean that I am stopping all together.

Also, during this time, I have been able to see that I need to focus within to get healing. Sometimes, you have to do things for yourself so that you can move along in the healing process. At times it can be rest and times it can be seeking other times require praying and kneeling...

I have realized that I should also be more fit and healthy over all... I have decided that I am going to do the half-marathon in January. I need to take care of my "temple"... I want to take something that I hate and hope that it can become something I enjoy (running...) My final goal will to participate in a tri-athalon in 3 years. I can do it.

So, I have felt that some people may be worried about me lately, and I just wanted everyone to know what is going on. Just know that in every learning process, failures or stumbles are just things that cause us to get back up and press on with. There things that we can learn from. There are times that we may not know where we should go from here... but it's those times that we have to trust that God is in control and that He will correct it if it needed to be.

Today in the 4s and 5s I taught on Joseph and Potiphar. Joseph was first treated like a slave, and was obedient and happy as a slave. He was then treated like a son, and he was obedient and happy as a son. He was then given authority as a leader, and he was obedient and happy as a leader. All he did in every situation was his best.

That's all we can do too. We can try, we can press on, and we can do our own personal best... Let us all press on as we seek to become like God's Son.... let us do our best in our endeavor - life.