Life can be so busy.....
It can be consumed by work, church, family, friends, obligations, birthdays, weddings, funerals, graduations, and everything else.

At times, I can get overwhelmed. I can totally lose site of what I am here for. I can rate things by importance and do those things first. Yet, I know that those things that people above me view as important are what I should consider a priority in my life. If my director tells me that I need to get something done ASAP, I need to drop everything and get that done. If my manager tells me to do something, I need to try to get it done soon after.

The same is true with God ~ to even more of a degree. When God tells me to do something, I need to be obedient, I need to repent and get rid of anything that is in the way. I need to make the things God values as my main values and the things that I purposefully put into my life. I can not continue to be rude and mean. I need to have kindness, gentleness, love, and mercy in my life. I can not require of other people what I do of myself. I need to be gracious and merciful, especially sense I never reach my own requirements. I need to spend more time getting to know God and focusing upon Him and who HE is so that I can better serve Him with my life.

So I have some things that I need prayer for:

1. Jacob ~ a little boy just over a year old, has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. He just went in for his normal check up and they caught that something was a little wrong. He has been given a month to live (most of which is gone). His family are not Christians. Please pray for his healing and their salvation.

2. Kayla ~ she was pregnant with her 4th child, and she began hemoiraging. She went into the hospital and they tried to revive the baby for 5 hours. Then, they had the surgery to remove the dead baby. Her husband, Jeremy, is in boot camp and may have just found out. Please pray for God to comfort them, that she will be able to still take care of her 3 other children, and that God would move in their lives.

3. At Insight, they decided to consolidate the two customer service teams. We currently have one in Chicago and one in Tempe. They just informed everyone in the Chicago team that the only way they can keep their job would be to move to Arizona. We are going to have 9 new people on Thursday that need to be trained. It is going to be absolutely crazy. New people that don't understand how to do their job will be training and be considered senior employees. Please pray that I will have patience in dealing with this and that I will free up some things so I can work more hours. Please also pray that I will get a promotion to a team lead if it be the Lord's will. Also, remember those in your prayers that just found out they don't have a job any more.

Thank you.

Jeremiah 9:23,24
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these in delight,"
declares the Lord.

Lord, I know I don't need a well-paying job and that I don't have a lot of wisdom/ knowledge. Help me seek you out more and lean more upon Your promises. I know that You alone are everything that I need. I want all of my delights to be because of You and the gifts You have given unto me. Give me understanding for the things that You are doing, not for me to question You or Your ways, but me to be able to follow You as You guide me. I praise You Lord and I thank You for You are a very good and awesome God.

Time passes, Things happen. Sometimes we as people regret decisions that we make, but we can never take them back or pretend as they never happened.

Many people think that being an independant is a mistake... Maybe someday that will happen for me and I'll regret all of the political debates that I have been in. Maybe.

Writing that letter to the supervisor in the 111th fortune company that resulted in someone getting fired... may have been a mistake. Yet, when a company gets enough complaints about a temp before they become permanent, they probably do need to try other people.... I never asked for her to get fired, that wasn't my purpose...Just because she would be my female stalker if I lived in Florida, I didn't try to do this to be malicious. Maybe it was something that needed to be done, maybe by someone else, but Maybe it would have needed to be done regardless...

The main reason why I think this may have been a mistake was that Priscilla has been mad at me. There are only 10 people on the team that I call 15 times a day: Priscilla, Shane, Tiki, Tom, Kyle, John, Taylor, (Cheyenne), Carole, and Justin. Of those ten people, I know quite a bit about each of their lives. I have had a chance to speak into many of their lives. They know I am Christian and that has given me some incredible opportunities. Priscilla is a struggling Christian, she used to call me just to be able to vent and share her frustrations. I was able to befriend her and be there for her when no one else was. Now, she is so mad that I wrote that letter to her supervisor that she barely talks to me. She is so upset, and even though she has told me that she's not mad at me for writing it, she has expressed it to other people on her team. I pray and hope that this has not ruined my witness and this hasn't ruined my friendships with these people. I know that there are some that agree with everything I wrote (John and Taylor).... Yet others are just upset because I didn't put them on the good list in the e-mail (Kyle and Tiki).... Regardless, it's something I thought about for a few days, probably even over a week, and there's nothing I can do about it now...

Then, as if I haven't had a bad enough week, my best friend Sarah called and asked me to go to Jilly's a restaurant/bar somewhat club on the weekends with her. This gives me a chance to meet her new boyfriend and to see some of her friends. It sounds funny to go to a bar, especially right after a college group meeting... I had been contemplating it the whole evening, wondering if it would be a hasty decision to go. I didn't really think so until I started driving there... Then I thought about when I was 18 and how I would go from youth group, playing the role of a youth leader, and then going to my friends just to get high and drunk. Am I doing the same thing now? Many people in our group of friends drink... We all remember when we went to Applebee's to celebrate Jen's 21st birthday. Then there's all the New Year's and St. Patty day's parties.... Yet, drinking in a bar ~ a real bar, feels different. I was so stoked that I live so far from that place. This gave the people I was with a reason of why I would only be allowed one drink. Even though I did not go to the bar to "fit in", "meet someone", or "even have a good time"...... I was able to hang out with my friend, see if she is still seeking after Christ (she became a Christian last year after me being her friend and witnessing to her for 8 years)... Yet, as I am sitting at the bar, talking, hanging out, extreme sipping on my drink.... I was constantly worried, is someone from work here? are they seeing me drink? would someone's perception of me change?

I want people to see me as a person that loves God, is friends with God, and that tries to live for Him. I want people to know that I am not perfect, that I am still trying to figure out how exactly to live my life for Him. Some people may say, how could you possibly think that going to a bar would be a good choice? I don't know.... I tried to hear what God was saying, but I didn't hear Him this time......So I stayed true to my word and I went, knowing Sarah was expecting me to meet her there.

All I know is this:
I used to struggle in almost every area ~ I got drunk, I got high, I was constantly trying to impress guys in any way I could.
Then God called me to stop drinking, stop getting high, and stop wearing make-up.
I did that from the fall of '99 until about this spring. For 4 years, I did not have a single drink (even when I turned 21), and I did not wear make-up except for when I went to a wedding or a funeral....I will continue to not do drugs for the rest of my life.
Then God started showing me that I can do some of these things... I now where make-up, but not a whole lot, I now know I can have a drink to enjoy the flavor, but I will not get drunk.....I am still learning on what is the line that I am comfortable with. I am trying to do things in moderation.

I also know that:
No matter what is or is not in my system, God is in control.... He is the One that I am thinking about and that I am trying to please... I know that God has given me freedom ~ a freedom to sin and not to sin, a freedom to be a drinker or a non-drinker, a freedom to be a worhsipper or a non-worshipper. Our God can choose to allow us to do some things that others are not allowed to do. Our God can also choose to hold some things back from us that He allows others to do.

I have the choice to be obedient to him or not. I have been very legalistic before. I have also lived life knowing that God has unlimited grace and though I should use up all the grace available for that day..... At work, I have a very high work ethic and I have been told that I am smarter than some of the others and that I can't require these two traits that I possess onto other people. I can never require from others what I do from myself. At youth group, I require myself to try to speak to way more youth than I do youth leaders. I know that it can be easier for me to talk to the different youth leaders and even the little kids, so I purposely will try to focus my attention on the youth. They, after all, are the reason I am there. I know I am not the best youth worker and I know I need more improvement in my role, so I constantly evaluate myself and try to improve myself and the ministry God has called me to.

Now, I try not be legalistic, and I try not to use up too much of God's grace or atleast say I can use it before I do something...I definitely don't want people to think I try to be perfect. I know everyone at work knows I am not perfect... But I want people to be able to be comfortable with me, that they would be able to be themselves in all of their strange and unique beauty in their personalities in front of me, and that they may be able to see the light within me without feeling that I am a person that requires all that I do of myself onto them.

So this is me, with all of my struggles, worries, and weirdness....giving it to God and asking Him to help me as He molds me to what He wants me to be and become.

So I feel kind of bad... I sent an e-mail to a supervisor today, and that person got fired.... at a different company... I was told that I wasn't the first customer to complain and that many people on their team had complained too. My boss still thinks I shouldn't sleep that well tonight.... But here's the e-mail I sent over:


Hi Audrey,

Some situations have arisen that concern one of your employees that I would like to bring to your attention. A few weeks ago, Cheyenne was being trained and then finally put on her own. After this happened, she has made errors and inappropriate behavior that I and other teammates have noticed.

She has appeared to be:

• Incompetent: We are consistently calling back to verify the decision / actions that she has made.
• Insecure and Diffident: She has a lack of confidence that leaves us with the impression that the issue is not going to be completely resolved or done correctly.
• Uncertain ~ in regards to her responses. She has put people on hold 3 times in one conversation when asking her teammates for assistance.
• Over-friendly (ex. The first time I talked to her, she said, "Oh, this is Hannah. I have been waiting so long to talk to you. I have heard so much about you and all I have wanted to do is talk to you. Yeah, finally I can say I know you.")
• Oversensitive: She was agitated yesterday when I had asked to be transferred to either Taylor or John for an abnormal situation.
• Slow

Some inappropriate actions she has made:

1. Upon calling, she said, "Oops, I meant to hit make busy but I didn't hit it in time." When asked by one of my teammates if she wanted them to call back on the queue, she replied with "Well I couldn't really suggest that, but you got at what I was hinting."
2. She created an RA (return authorization) for qty 100 instead of qty 1, which would make the other qty 99 not available to return. This error was caught by me when requesting an RA for part of the available qty.
3. After she created a damaged claim, and we had waited several days for things to occur, we found that it was done incorrectly and that our customer had to wait an additional 5 business days.

I also would like to tell you what an incredible job that Priscilla and the rest of the team have been doing. She always takes care of the situations and returns quickly and correctly. My team enjoys working with her because we know that she is qualified for her job and that she is truly the best person to work our account. Also, when she is gone for the day, I know that there are other people that are able to take care of us and answer our questions accurately. I would like to tell you that Taylor and John have helped numerous people on my team with tough situations and helped us through them at ease. I thank you for your employees' hard work and attentiveness to our returns. I just wanted you to be informed of these situations and the previous ones as well, and I appreciate you looking into it. Thank you for your time.

Hannah

Whew! Sometimes I am shocked even by myself..... Lord, help Cheyenne get a job that she will be good at.

The American Independant party.
(all information is off of http://www.usiap.org)

The Mission

To promote respect for life, liberty and property; strong traditional families; patriotism; and individual, state and national sovereignty -- with a strong reliance on the Declaration of Independence and allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America -- by petition to God and by political and educational means.

The Principles
(Revised by National Committee on 17 July 1999)

1. We believe that to maintain freedom, our political institutions must be founded upon faith in God and moral laws as declared in the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights.
2. We believe that God has endowed men with certain unalienable rights as set forth in the Declaration of Independence and that no citizen, group of citizens or government may limit or destroy these rights. The function of government is to protect life, liberty, and property; anything more than this is usurpation and oppression.
3. We believe that the Constitution of the United States was prepared and adopted by men under inspiration from Almighty God; that it is a solemn compact created by the people of the states of this nation, which all officers of government are duty-bound to obey; that the separation of the Legislative, Executive and Judicial branches must remain well defined.
4. We believe the proper functions of government include the duty to:
Punish crime and provide for the administration of justice;
Protect the right and control of private property;
Wage defensive war and provide for the nation’s defense.
5. We affirm that the Constitution denies government the power to take from the individual either his life, liberty, or his property except by due process of law in accordance with moral law; that the same moral law which governs the actions of men when acting alone is also applicable when they act in concert with others.
6. We are hereby resolved that under no circumstances shall the freedoms guaranteed by the Bill of Rights be infringed. We are opposed to any attempt to deny the people of their right to bear arms, to practice their religion, to worship and pray to God as they choose, and to own and control private property.
7. We are unalterably opposed to and regard it as an unconstitutional usurpation of power for government to own or control the means of producing and distributing goods and services in competition with private enterprise.
8. Article I Section 8 of the Constitution of the United States grants Congress the power "To coin money, regulate the value thereof, ...." That power to coin money has been illegally transferred to the Federal Reserve System which has established a money system based on debt and bondage. We call for the abolishment of the unconstitutional Federal Reserve System and a restoration of a debt-free money system in accordance with the Constitution of the United States.
9. We believe that each state is sovereign in performing those functions reserved to it by the U.S. Constitution and it is a usurpation of power for the Federal Government to regulate or control the states in performing their functions.
10. We consider it a violation of the Constitution for the Federal Government to levy taxes for the support of state or local government; that no state or local government can accept funds from the Federal Government and remain independent in performing its functions, nor can the citizens exercise their rights of self-government under such conditions.
11. We deem it a violation of the right of private property guaranteed under the Constitution for the Federal Government to forcibly deprive the citizens of this nation of their property through taxation or otherwise, and make a gift thereof to foreign governments or to their citizens.
12. We declare that all treaties or agreements with other countries must not deprive our citizens of rights guaranteed them by the Constitution. We further declare that it is treason to use such instruments to aid or comfort an enemy.
13. We consider it treason for the Federal Government to dismantle or weaken our military establishment below that point required for the protection of the states against invasion, or to surrender or commit our men, arms, and money to the control of foreign or world organizations or governments; or to allow foreign military bases on American land.

The Reason
Everything from this point on is my own thoughts and opinions...

As is the obvious, I agree with the Independant party. I am an Independant. I am dependant only upon God.

I would stand for God:
if I was the only person that was doing so
if I never had a vote in the preliminaries or any election
if I was told that I was a minority
if I was told my beliefs were stupid and made me a fool
if I know that He and everything He stands for was right

I would not compromise by choosing a different religion or God merely because other people said to or that it would give me higher status within my country.

Why should I do that for politics? Why should I say I am republican merely because I am a Christian? Why would I say all democrats are evil? I can see both sides. Just because I like more republican people (ie George W. Bush, John McCain, John Kyl, Matt Salmon...) doesn't mean that I should become republican when I don't agree with all their beliefs.

If there was no true Christian, I would still be one.
If everyone claimed to be a Christian and didn't live it out, I would still try.

Just because the only people that are known for the Independant party are heathens does not mean all are. It doesn't mean that the party itself would stand behind these people. They are just like people that claim to be Christians but do not choose to follow or obey Christ. They are truly a misrepresentation.

Some say that we are made up of the leftovers. Christians are the same way. People use the term just as if they were to say that they believe in God. People will claim to be Christians merely because they are not an atheist or agnostic. The term itself has turned into a catchall for all sorts of different people. We ~ who try to live out what it truly stands for and means ~ can continue to show the rest of the people the true meaning of the word. I can do that for the Independant party as well. I might not run for an election (at least at this point in my life), but I can do it my informing people of what I believe in.