Besides Jason Mraz... I've been a little semi~addicted to Gavin Degraw... It's freakin' out my sister that I've actually been listening to secular music... besides country, but it's good, and it can still help me evaluate my life...like every other thing has been impacting me....Hmm... What could God be telling me? Does He want me to take a step back, look, at my life, and change it?
In Gavin's song, "I Don't Want to Be", the chorus is:
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
It sounds pretty prideful of him to say those things... and I would definitely change it to fit my own belief. Yet, I think there's a point. "I don't want to be anything other than me" is an awesome concept. It's definitely not because I or Gavin think that we've reached perfection... Yet, there's an element of individuality. I can't and shouldn't want to be like any of our talented friends or anyone else for things that they do well. God created me perfectly and wonderfully, and He created all of you perfectly and wonderfully. If He wanted two of one person, then He would have created us that way. So, I don't want to be anything other than me; I don't want to be anything other than what God has made me to be and I want to have the purpose that He has for me. I want to play the role in the body of Christ that He has for me. This is not out of pride, it's just a reality ~ a reality that we can try to pursue all that God has for us, embrace the character He desires for us to have, and focus upon that. If we all focus upon these things, then we could say:
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of God and I have peace of mind
I'm prayin and tryin to find
out what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
Thank You Lord for who You are. You are perfect, and thank You for who You created all of us to be. It is a blessing to know so many of Your awesome creations. Praise You Lord for Your creativity and how You made us all individuals and how we're all the apple of Your eye.
Monday, December 27
Yesterday, I went to the mall with Jordan & Susie and the girls in the house. The plan was to meet them at the carousel, so I was just standing there watching all the cute kids that were on it. This family gets in line and the mom says to me, "Are you in line?" I assured her that I was not in line. She then replies with, "Oh, okay, so you're just taking up space then."
Even though that was pretty rude, it got me thinking... Is it possible for someone to be living their life for them to be merely taking up space? What would that look like? What type of life would that actually be?
In this life, we have a purpose and a reason for our existence. That reason is to know God, glorify Him, and shed light to others so that they may live for these reasons as well. I realize that my life might not look like this all the time... I can try, but there are definitely times in my life that I am not trying. It is then that our lives may appear that we are just "taking up space"..... Yet, since God has this undying, eternal, faithful, committed love for us, He would never have that opinion. Thank You Lord that Your opinion of us is the only one that truly matters.
Even though that was pretty rude, it got me thinking... Is it possible for someone to be living their life for them to be merely taking up space? What would that look like? What type of life would that actually be?
In this life, we have a purpose and a reason for our existence. That reason is to know God, glorify Him, and shed light to others so that they may live for these reasons as well. I realize that my life might not look like this all the time... I can try, but there are definitely times in my life that I am not trying. It is then that our lives may appear that we are just "taking up space"..... Yet, since God has this undying, eternal, faithful, committed love for us, He would never have that opinion. Thank You Lord that Your opinion of us is the only one that truly matters.
Friday, December 17
Sometimes I get in a funk... and I don't understand why... It's like, I just need to stop and think about what is going on around me... and contemplate all that is happenning...
I think I'm out of my "funk" now..... but I continue to still think about:
What does God want for me?
Where does He want me to serve? And on what day of the week? I love both the youth and the 4s and 5s, and sometimes... It just gets too draining to work in both ministries on Sunday mornings.. I am seeking God out to see what He wants me to do and change/not change.
Did I do the right thing and did I buy the right car?
How many mistakes do I make daily?
How many people are actually watching me to see if I hold firm to my faith?
How many people around me know that I am active in church and have a heart for missions?
I think that all of us have people watching us that we don't even realize. I think that we will be surprised when we get to heaven and realize all the times that we were shining for Him and that people recognized it when they were in the midst of the darkness.. We should always be on a "mission"... at the workplace, at the mall, at the movies, at church ..... We should always be imitating Christ so that we will be a light.. If we can accomplish this, then we will reach our goal of being Christ-like and actually live a life without any hypocrisy.
I've been thinking a lot about hypocrisy lately... and how sometimes I feel like I'm a hyprocrite when I say things that aren't appropriate or do things that I know I shouldn't in front of non-christians... Other times I feel like a hypocrite when I just think about things wrongly within my head... Granted, sometimes, many times, we commit sins and that is all that it could merely be... but could it be hints of hypocrisy as well... I really don't know... This is something that I am pondering... Let me know your opinion.
Sorry for all of the tangents and the run on of thoughts....
I think I'm out of my "funk" now..... but I continue to still think about:
What does God want for me?
Where does He want me to serve? And on what day of the week? I love both the youth and the 4s and 5s, and sometimes... It just gets too draining to work in both ministries on Sunday mornings.. I am seeking God out to see what He wants me to do and change/not change.
Did I do the right thing and did I buy the right car?
How many mistakes do I make daily?
How many people are actually watching me to see if I hold firm to my faith?
How many people around me know that I am active in church and have a heart for missions?
I think that all of us have people watching us that we don't even realize. I think that we will be surprised when we get to heaven and realize all the times that we were shining for Him and that people recognized it when they were in the midst of the darkness.. We should always be on a "mission"... at the workplace, at the mall, at the movies, at church ..... We should always be imitating Christ so that we will be a light.. If we can accomplish this, then we will reach our goal of being Christ-like and actually live a life without any hypocrisy.
I've been thinking a lot about hypocrisy lately... and how sometimes I feel like I'm a hyprocrite when I say things that aren't appropriate or do things that I know I shouldn't in front of non-christians... Other times I feel like a hypocrite when I just think about things wrongly within my head... Granted, sometimes, many times, we commit sins and that is all that it could merely be... but could it be hints of hypocrisy as well... I really don't know... This is something that I am pondering... Let me know your opinion.
Sorry for all of the tangents and the run on of thoughts....
Wednesday, December 8
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about that Switchfoot song "This Is Your Life". It has really been hitting home.... especially one line in the chorus:
This is your life. Are you who you want to be?
No, I'm definitely not who I want to be. I have way too many things that I struggle with and fall into that I would like to have control of... I am so sick of saying things that are inappropriate.... I am so sick of dimming my light at the benefit of befriending non-christians....I am so sick of not having self-control and having a lack of patience with people.... I am so sick of how judgmental I can be... I am so sick of how I can be so lazy...
I know that God's grace washes over me and that He will help me get all of these things out of me or work them into me (whichever benefits His glory), but I'm impatient, and I want them fixed now. Yet.... I'll just pray...
I do think it's good though to sit back and take a look at what one's life has become to evaluate it. Sometimes it can get so easy to just ignore or not notice little things that we do daily/ hourly/ weekly that we don't mean to... It's just good to reflect upon what God is trying to change in us, our responsiveness to that, and also what we need to be working on.
This is your life. Are you who you want to be?
No, I'm definitely not who I want to be. I have way too many things that I struggle with and fall into that I would like to have control of... I am so sick of saying things that are inappropriate.... I am so sick of dimming my light at the benefit of befriending non-christians....I am so sick of not having self-control and having a lack of patience with people.... I am so sick of how judgmental I can be... I am so sick of how I can be so lazy...
I know that God's grace washes over me and that He will help me get all of these things out of me or work them into me (whichever benefits His glory), but I'm impatient, and I want them fixed now. Yet.... I'll just pray...
I do think it's good though to sit back and take a look at what one's life has become to evaluate it. Sometimes it can get so easy to just ignore or not notice little things that we do daily/ hourly/ weekly that we don't mean to... It's just good to reflect upon what God is trying to change in us, our responsiveness to that, and also what we need to be working on.
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